@ blissfulechoes Hey, I read I Spy and I think that you should make that main character a little more social, put more dialogue, don't spend to many sentences on details (I'm not saying that details are a no no, I'm just saying to.. shorten the details or don't put too many, readers could get bored and you should let them imagine the surrounding of the character... just explain the important things and leave the rest to the reader's imagination), but all in all it's a good story, with a little work it could even turn amazing... And remember, that is just my opinion, other people might think the opposite
Good luck with the story and have a great day too