@RongWright It was really good. The only thing was acasionally you would put in a extra small word like to, the, as ect. Also when you first introduced flavio and you said flavios dark eyes, my driver of 2 years, sparked at me. Or something like that. In english you would say flavio my driver of 2 year's dark eyes sparkled at me. That way you dont break halfway through the sentence if you get what I mean. But its a awesome effort especially if english is your second language cause English is a horrible language to try and speak. I really like the story and hope you continue writing it.
