HollyPoppies

Kinda hitting a wall because I’m afraid of what I got. Like idk if it’s too much or too dark and then also there’s Benitoite lore that needs to be set up future chapters an ahhhh. That’s to say the next few chapters may be rough I guess idk. 

I'm not there yet and Idk when the story will be, okay? I got a rough estimate so trying to get ahead. But let me tell ya, writing smut is just so funny. Like is this actually good? Is it terrible? I'm in my twenties but does it seem like a 12 year old with too much screen time wrote this? IDK. Also because it's with Pearl, I'm thinking heavy on the logistics and I blame the autism. Like we do realize that she doesn't like food and bodily functions and that sex is messy right??? RIGHT?  But it fine. Its great. We're thriving actually. Just be cringe and see where it goes, I guess. ahh. 
          
          Anyways felt like sharing. 
          
          Sincerely,
          Someone who is probably writing Pearl out of character but trying her hardest not too.

Got slammmmmed by winter depression real hard and stressing probably way to much over the plot. I think I just gotta accept that Imma be sad and the future plot will be just more winging it  and hopefully it’s to the same extent of good or is better than what I think it will be. 
          
          Very sorry. Expect an update soon.

My goal for 2026 is be better with my plot for my Pearl fic and at the same time to give less of a fuck. 
          
          It’s a fanfic, it’s a silly story to escape scary big feelings about all that’s going on in the world. I need to stop worrying about how long it’ll end up being. If each chapter is fun to write then what  difference does it make if it 80 chapters or 200+ 
          
          Biggest issue is do I gotta post another “story” to continue?? I want it all under one “book” but I might need to move over eventually. I’ll do that once I get to season two ‍♀️
          
          Anyways if you read this:
          
          thank you. And if you’ve been reading my cringe OMG THANK YOU! Writing this has been so much fun and I still don’t know where I’m going fully with it (I try to plot out every ten chapters or so at a time but it’s hard) 
          
          
          
          

Writing is so fucking funny because you either think your cooking and you are. Or you think you're cooking and your actually dumb as shit. Guess we're find out when we get there bois

Thank you alllll so so much for the support!
          
          I currently have the next two chapters done and a few others but I think are needing to be rearranged/rewritten? So expect some slower postings.
          
          Anyways really excited to be in the weird situation-ship vibes with Pearl finally. 

How do we feel about established relationships? Cause no my fic isn’t gonna end when reader and Pearl get together. They gotta be cute messy girlfriends because I wanna follow the show in it’s whole length and touch upon messy shit that Rebeca Sugar mentioned or hinted at from her TikTok’s and interviews  
          
          

Hey! Just wanted to check up and see how you’re doing? I hope you’re well and I hope you’re achieving your goals. Have a good day/night!

I wanna write so so so bad. Im so thankful for everyone who has been reading or had read my fic. But holy hell im struggling. Anhedonia has had such a chokehold on me. I've entered these pits before, but this one feels all the deeper. I generally don't know how to crawl out of it. I've been gaming more, i picked up RE4 and its great. I love Leon. Yet when i play it, it feels like I'm doing so just to pass the time? Hell I've even starting working out, and don't get me wrong. I want a sleeper build so that's what I'm working towards but I literally picked up working out as a way to be productive in this ever encompassing boredom.  I feel like my writing as suffered immensely where when i try to write a new chapter for the SU fic or for anything in general, it feels like complete trash and not even in a "haha its trash and cringe but im having fun" so of way. Just complete and utter garbage.  I dont know if I just just replan my story, maybe completely destroy the time line i have for it. I'm such a perfectionist when it comes to my writing even with all the errors i keep. This is just a rant I guess because I literally feel like everythings pointless and I don't know how to find meaning in anything these days. It really sucks. And if anyone is dealing with this feeling as well, im so so sorry. I hope we can crawl out it. 
          
          I started my su fic initally because I was going through it with a relationship of mine and felt rage, was dealing with Substance abuse, and needed an out. I really wish this story was still an out. But it now feels like a burden though I love my ideas for it. I just have no energy for it and again everything feels like trash once its written. 
          In the mean time ive been finding old wips for an ouran fic. Idk if thats any of yalls cups of tea but I might post that. Its not like a fully story. just small wips. Yet maybe it help me get out this hell hole of pit. 
          Anyways be kind to yourself, life's hard especially these days. I hope urall doing well.

Starting a new story but planning on still posting for my SU fic! Currently trying to figure out the next future chapters on that one and how I want to pace them. 
          
          As for the new story I’m working on it’s gonna be Starwars The clone wars related. Aka the fandom that got me into fanfic in the first place and was my biggest special interest for a literal decade and I’m getting back into it yet again. The only issue is that I don’t know if I’m gonna focus mainly on OC’s but I want the romantic interest to be Howzer but I only watched season 1 of bad batch  and it would be based on the clone war era so a lot of history that we don’t know about him, made up. Anyways just felt like sharing ‍♀️