Hello there friends.
I know I haven't been online in like a year and EBR is just not going anywhere right now. I recently reread EBR before carrying on writing, and was horrified by it. You could see my age (14 at the time) and it was genuinely terrifying that I could write something that was meant to be beautiful and turn it into something shallow, superficial and immature. So I will definitely be rewriting the entire book. Characters will mostly stay the same. No stereotypical Alex though. No confusion. No holes in the plot.
I realise I put my entire faith and belief into Noah and Abbie and their world. Noah was reflecting someone who I badly wanted, and who I was, all at the same time. Since becoming older I've realised that the person I've always wanted isn't beautiful like Noah is physically, and they don't wear their scars like Noah does. But they're strong and loving and funny and kind like Noah. I just haven't met them yet. And no matter what I do, my past is my past and I will always be Noah to some extent.
I wanted to lose myself in a world where love was real. Where friends didn't leave friends. And old wounds were healed. People could move on but never forget their friendships and relationships of the past. And I so badly wanted that world to be mine. But unfortunately, that world is never going to be mine. And that is completely fine.
I came very close to breaking completely and never coming back. Thankfully my mum, my little brother and my Fudgie never let that happen.
So hopefully I'll be rewriting EBR soon. I'll be more active. I'll get my mojo back. I just thought anyone who still cares about me and my work should know this. Noah was the best person in my life. And I wanted Abbie to really emphasise how great Noah was. And I know I was so young writing it, but I didn't have a Noah to help me, and I needed a Noah. So I'm giving you guys your Noah back. He did save me at one point, so now maybe my boy can save you or help you out. Noah rocks.