|!| 𝗕𝗲𝗲 |!|

I MISS YOU

ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!! :D

So uh- remember that story i am supposed to be writing?
          
          well I was
          
          I SWEAR I WAS WRITING IT
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
           ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶p̶h̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶g̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶w̶r̶i̶t̶t̶e̶n̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶e̶s̶
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          :>

1.17 IS OUT TODAY GUYS WHAT THE FUCK

Guys I just played Minecraft for eight hours straight. No movement at all. It's 5 am lol I am only getting an hour of sleep

I was sitting next to my mom texting my friends and she wanted to show me something in her phone. So took hers and set mine down. open. Unlocked. Then as I was looking at whatever she showed me she took my phone and started looking through my text messages ;-; luckily it was with my cousin and not my friend

You know you need to go touch grass when you realize your accent is changing from watching British block men 24/7 

HI BABE HOW ARE YOU DOINGG

https://youtu.be/lHIYe-Jx2PQ

Ok so, this will be a long one. I really need to get me emotions out and this is the best way to do it right now. I just came back from a highschool girls meeting at my church. It was.... heavy, to put it shortly. We talked about fear. Not just small phobias, like spiders and darkness. Fears that keep you from doing things. Fears like fear of failure and disappointment. This whole time, girls were sharing. I stayed silent. I *couldn't* share. My fear, was keeping me from sharing. 
          
          
          I have a fear of opening up. Fear of being vulnerable you could say. If I opened up about said fear, everything I carry with me would come crashing down, and I would be the most vulnerable I have in my *life*. I can't do that.
          
           If I were to talk about being vulnerable I would end up spilling about my parent problems, how strict they are, my depression, anxiety, the secrets I keep, the other fears of people not wanting to be around me if they knew what I truly liked. I would say how I stay up at night telling myself I should feel emotions, but I can't. I've kept pushing my emotions down its as if nothing is there anymore. And because I can't be vulnerable I could never let out any anyways. If I told them about pushing down my emotions, I would tell them about how I hid (still do) social media from my parents because they would never let me do anything online. I would tell them I couldn't laugh, cry, smile at anything on my phone, or they would know and take it away. (I dont even feel the need to cry right now and that makes me *angry*) My only support system, my only source of happiness.