this message may be offensive
Haven't used this in a long time...nows a good time I guess.
For those who are new, or those who have forgotten, I have been through a lot of shit in the past. Because of what I've been through, as well as genetics pissing on me, I have been diagnosed with Clinical Depression. I take medication to help with my anxiety. And while it's not on the medical record, I suffer from PTSD. Certain actions, sounds, even locations, trigger me and make me sick with anxiety and fear. I have been hospitalized once for suicide ideation. Today, things all crashed down on me. I was just seconds away, one little shred willpower holding me back, from overdosing on my sleep aid to help with my light insomnia (I can't sleep well without the sleep aid, I'll take too long to sleep and won't sleep deep enough to not wake up every so often). It was terrifying to know, that all that was keeping me from killing myself, was a small handful of people. Around 18 people. That's all that kept me from this world, and the grip of death. 18 people. Let that sink in. 18 people kept me from overdosing. I don't know how I would survive, if those 18 people didn't exist. To those 18 people, thank you. I owe you my life. Some of those people, I owe them twice.