Hoshi1511
I don't think that I'll be living more than 20 years,cuz the pain is increasing day by day and it's getting worse brooooo,I might not survive much :-\
maybe I will die today rn?who knows
Hoshi1511
Hoshi1511
I feel so useless,like I can't do anything.
I literally mess up everything.
My father,he doesn't really try to understand me, it's fine can't that's ok but atleast don't say those hurtful things.
Like,if I say a joke he just straight up starts to talk how am not good at studies how am not enough how I am not like other good kids.
And it hurts so much, it hurts so soo much!
I feel like I shouldn't exist,I feel like I should have died in place of my brother.
Why didn't I die?!if I had died in place of my brother this life could have been useful,this life wouldn't have been wasted!my parents would have been happy cuz they have a son,who is good at studies,who is useful,who listens to them,the society won't throw taunts at them for having daughters.my sister would have been happy,she would have a brother.my grandma could have had a grandson, a heir,just imagine how much happy would they all have been!.
I want to disappear,I really don't want to be here anymore!I am just an disappoint.
Why was I even born,why do I even exist?!
Hoshi1511
@Hoshi1511 i also have 1 bsf but nowadays she have distanced herself from me,and 2 close friends but nowadays they don't talk with meಥ‿ಥ. Boring personality My photo insta is pret_aatma._ the pfp is yoongis pic! the iconic silver face mask pic :-P (There are so many acc with ur name,u follow me first)
ieattwinks
this message may be
offensive
@Hoshi1511 It’s alright girlie .. everything's gonna become better. You have a lot in your plate rn .. I can understand. But, I still believe you'll get through this. And u don't need to thank me and stuff! I've been going through same .. so, i understand well. And, how should I say this .. but I hate these so called friendships like ugh mf's are only frnds for name, otherwise it's all just a drama. I've like 1 bestfriend and 2 close friends! And 5-6 like normal ones, who are not really close but hasi mazak ho jaati hai! So, yeah I can relate with that as well T_T cuz like I was stuck in a toxic friend group for like 3 years and after changing schools .. I got to know what they said about me behind my back.. p.s all that ignorance and jealous bs .. trust me, been there. It’s just worst kind of shit. So dw, it’s alright to have lesss friends but like real ones. And, i'd genuinely love to be your friend. I am not pitying you or stuff, it's just that i relate with you so well, so why not hehe! >_< (I am sorry if that disclaimer thing hurted you, i meant nothing as such. I just wanted to make you aware about my boring personality.. like as what people say so. But, wtvr.) NADDDD YKWW I WANNAAAAAAAAAA BEFRIEND YOUUU GIRLIEEEE!!!!!!! LOVE UAA LOVE UAA
Hoshi1511
@ieattwinks same gurllll,I wish I could but everyday it gets worse and worse༎ຶ‿༎ຶ I should thank you(⊃ • ʖ̫ • )⊃my insta is pret aatma,I will message u reply :-)also if you don't want to be friends with me then say no rn,cuz I already have like a dozen "friends"who don't give a f about me and ignore me ,it hurts me༎ຶ‿༎ຶ so if u don't want to then say no rn it's ok•́ ‿ ,•̀
Hoshi1511
I feel so bad when I see a family all happy and behaving good with each other,I wish I was never born •́ ‿ ,•̀
And I feel so much jealous when I see father's life loving their daughters .
My father loves me to but he doesn't shows it,I m not sure if he actually loves me ಥ‿ಥ.
Whenever I touch he acts like he'd been touched by fire ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ.
It's been years since he had hugged me ( ꈨຶ ˙̫̮ ꈨຶ )
I wish he would hug me༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽
I badly want to hug him bro ( ≧Д≦).
Hoshi1511
Uhm, how can someone be so useless and still want love attention and care? 8 )...
I uh I what ,I don't know what to do.
Hoshi1511
It actually hurts, it's suffocating not having any friend who is physically with you :-(
An even if I somehow make friends they just leave (+_+) and me being a witchy bitchy I m so sensitive (*_*) even little things hurt me,and sometimes big things doesn't hurt me ;-)
I have friend online,but I need one in real life bro(TT) I want someone who is physically with me and understands me :-\
Everyone's Happy and chatting with their friend and I'm just sitting like a bhondu O_o
It's hard for me to be in school 8(
Like I'm the always left out *\0/*
Why always I have to be the understanding one :-[
Why God God why?(TT)(TT)(TT)(TT)
I can't even cry right now cuz it's like am not able to produce tears O_o
Hoshi1511
I feel so tired >.<
Like I just want to sit still and rot away 8-).
I want to just sit still with a completely blank mind :-|
These voices just won't stop.
Like bro stop! don't you all need break? always talking and talking =_=
At this point even in my sleep I hear these voices in my dream (T T)
Hoshi1511
I genuinely do not deserve anything or anyone no 8-)
Hoshi1511
Ayeee i feel so cringy if i express my feelings like so much cring, it's like I'm seeking attention by talking about my feelings :-\
Hoshi1511
Welll sorry,I dk what should i say?.
Anyways everyone have different opinions (•‿•)
(This is actually cringe ^_^)
(Sorry if this was rude to you,I m really sorry—)
Bigking_hislil1
@Hoshi1511 Don't think your feelings are cringe. Feeling things is human, and sharing them doesn't make you needy or anything. It just means you're being yourself, and that's fine.
Hoshi1511
Uh, sometimes I feel like I should actually appreciate and love myself and the thing i do or create,should I?or should I continue being the same?the number one hater of myself ｡◕‿◕｡.
Tu kya merese nafrat karega re mai to khudse hi nafrat karti hu ;)
Namjoon_supremacy
Hey everyone! Sorry for the spam ^^ Just popping in to share my new one-shot, a fluffy and heartwarming romance about Namkook. I’d be forever grateful if you could at least take a look and vote. Thank you so much in advance!
https://www.wattpad.com/story/400357938-hearts-aligned-namkook