Hoshi◌

They say that I'll cry blood tears that I'll be beaten to death,that no one will be by my side,that I am so useless and worthless,that I am so unlucky,that I'll never ever be happy.
          
          Like already know these,tell me anything else!
          I already know that I'll never ever be happy,that I'll be all alone in the future,that I'll cry tears of blood,that I'll be beaten to death,and I also know how useless and worthless I am,I already know,so tell me something else!
          
          Also,I don't have even know If I'll be in this world,I don't know if I even have a future?maybe I won't be there anymore?.
          
          Maybe I don't have a future?
          
          Maybe I'll die somewhere in between?
          
          Idk man!
          
          Mental health have been messed up and on top these people are adding ghee to the fire.
          
          Like just as I was thinking that I should not be alive anymore,I shouldn't live I should die,she brought me another reason to not be alive (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠).
          
          Anyways if ur looking forward for an update I will give u all tonight!also am bringing a new story(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠).

Boys really are something 
          
          My cousin was like"oh so ur jealous of ur friend because she has a boyfriend?".bitch wtf? ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ
          
          If you say so I am jealous of the boyfriend because he has her!as his gf ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ.
          
          Btw I am looking for a gf, let me know if anyone wants to be my gf◉⁠‿⁠◉.

All the best for you exams khushh!! Sorry i ain't that active on ig .. mere khud exams chl re hai bc. Dw, you'll survivee and hopefully gonna perform welll. Ly!
          
          Takeeecaree <3

I don't think that I'll be living more than 20 years,cuz the pain is increasing day by day and it's getting worse brooooo,I might not survive much :⁠-⁠\
          maybe I will die today rn?who knows 

I feel so useless,like I can't do anything.
          I literally mess up everything.
          My father,he doesn't really try to understand me, it's fine can't that's ok but atleast don't say those hurtful things.
          Like,if I say a joke he just straight up starts to talk how am not good at studies how am not enough how I am not like other good kids.
          And it hurts so much, it hurts so soo much!
          I feel like I shouldn't exist,I feel like I should have died in place of my brother.
          Why didn't I die?!if I had died in place of my brother this life could have been useful,this life wouldn't have been wasted!my parents would have been happy cuz they have a son,who is good at studies,who is useful,who listens to them,the society won't throw taunts at them for having daughters.my sister would have been happy,she would have a brother.my grandma could have had a grandson, a heir,just imagine how much happy would they all have been!.
          
          I want to disappear,I really don't want to be here anymore!I am just an disappoint.
          
          Why was I even born,why do I even exist?!

I feel so bad when I see a family all happy and behaving good with each other,I wish I was never born •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀
          
          And I feel so much jealous when I see father's life loving their daughters .
          
          My father loves me to but he doesn't shows it,I m not sure if he actually loves me ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ.
          
          Whenever I touch he acts like he'd been touched by fire ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ.
          
          It's been years since he had hugged me (⁠ ⁠ꈨຶ⁠ ⁠˙̫̮⁠ ⁠ꈨຶ⁠ ⁠)
          
          I wish he would hug me༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽
          
          I badly want to hug him bro (⁠ ⁠≧⁠Д⁠≦⁠).

Uhm, how can someone be so useless and still want love attention and care?  8 )...
          
          I uh I what ,I don't know what to do.

It actually hurts, it's suffocating not having any friend who is physically with you :⁠-⁠(
          
          An even if I somehow make friends they just leave (⁠+⁠_⁠+⁠) and me being a witchy bitchy I m so sensitive (⁠*⁠_⁠*⁠) even little things hurt me,and sometimes big things doesn't hurt me ;⁠-⁠)
          
          I have friend online,but I need one in real life bro(⁠T⁠T⁠) I want someone who is physically with me and understands me :⁠-⁠\
          Everyone's Happy and chatting with their friend and I'm just sitting like a bhondu O⁠_⁠o
          
          It's hard for me to be in school 8(
          Like I'm the always left out *⁠\⁠0⁠/⁠*
          
          Why always I have to be the understanding one :⁠-⁠[
          
          Why God God why?(⁠T⁠T⁠)(⁠T⁠T⁠)(⁠T⁠T⁠)(⁠T⁠T⁠)
          
          I can't even cry right now cuz it's like am not able to produce tears O⁠_⁠o
          

I feel so tired >⁠.⁠<
          Like I just want to sit still and rot away 8⁠-⁠).
          I want to just sit still with a completely blank mind :⁠-⁠|
          These voices just won't stop.
          Like bro stop! don't you all need break? always talking and talking =⁠_⁠=
          At this point even in my sleep I hear these voices in my dream (⁠T⁠ T⁠)

I genuinely do not deserve anything or anyone no 8⁠-⁠)