Kay

Final part of my unsent letter to my crush of 2 years: 
          
          We didn’t talk for months. Small exchanged glances in the hallways, nothing more. The first time I talked to you after that was actually during court warming. We talked about how next boys swim season I was going to manage and all of that fun stuff. I made you smile. We became friends after that. Or at least friendly. I talked to you again next during the swim team banquet. We brushed hands when I was handing you something. We had a brief conversation and you watched me stuff my face with cupcakes. I now am swim manager and see you every single day. We took our team photo and I was right behind you. I can’t keep my eyes off of you even two years later. I’ve tried other people. My heart keeps going back to you. I just want it to be you. Only you. All of you. 
          Sincerely, M.

Part 2 of my unsent letter to my crush of 2 years: 
           I was being an idiot and threw a cheap free toy I got from a tent at you and your friend who is also one of my closer friends. I cut your arm on accident and felt so bad. We ran around, laughed, and joked for 2 hours until the fireworks show. I snuck off from my family so I could watch them with you. We had two friends in between us. While you were watching the fireworks, I was watching you. From that moment on I knew I would never get you out of my head. You decided to join the boys swim team that summer and started going to the summer workouts. I was also there because I have been swimming with the girls. We would see each other twice a week there. One day after practice we walked to the local pool together. I had the most fun I have ever had in my life walking there with you. The way you would try to get semi’s to honk, make an effort to make me laugh, and be so down to earth roped me in. One of our friends ended up showing up and we had a blast. You dared me to do a front flip off the diving board and I ended up back flopping. Though the pool day didn’t last long I still loved every second of it. I had a friend drop me because I liked you after that and you stuck up for me and defended me. You called her out to defend me. Me. You defended me. We went on instagram live with our friends so many times that summer I can’t even count. We had a falling out in September and that broke me. You didn't feel the way I felt about you, you wanted other girls, I just wasn’t yours. You weren’t mine to loose.

Part 1 of my unsent letter to my crush of 2 years:
          
          Dear P, you know it’s really funny how I found out you existed. I lived in a whole other state and I saw your BeReals on my friends of friends and thought to myself “wow he's cute.” I was so young then and had no idea the effect you were going to have on me once I moved to where you were. I never saw you at school when I first started and I forgot about you. I was texting your friend one day and the next you add me on snap. You forgot this even happened but you asked me “wyl” and I told you where I lived cause I didn’t know what it meant at the time. I started noticing your presence around that time. Your blonde voluminous hair and then the smile that made me want to melt. You never knew it was that girl you added on snap did you? I watched from afar for months. The first time you noticed me was during a game of circle volleyball with our friends. You went and spiked the ball in my face and I dodged it. For the next month I thought about you. I know I sound like a stalker but I was already falling and hadn’t even talked to you. In June of that year, I made my sisters best friend give you my number and tell you to text me  We texted for about 3 days and then stopped. The day after we stopped I slept over at a friends house where her two guy friends made you talk to me again. The week we texted and called twice was amazing. You told me you were also texting another girl so we stopped texting as much. I didn’t even care because I wanted you so bad. We made plans to meet up and talk for the first time in person on the Fourth of July. We met up at this festival for the first time. The moment I talked to you it felt like fireworks exploded in my stomach. Not the small kind you set off in front of your house. Like the big kind that you only see in the fireworks shows