HunterJumperGirl

@HunterJumperGirl It's no problem! Keep updating and you'll soon notice the reads going up! 

@HunterJumperGirl ahh wonderful spellcheck... Chapter not chalter! 

Hard*

@wehaveyourcookies Wow thanks! That seems so har to write! I'll probaby post a new chapter once I get a little more reads because 16 doesnt sound like very many people but that means 16 people are probably waiting for ages for me to update! Hehe thanks for the pointers, i'll defintaly use them because its hard to write a long chalter with out much describing(: x 

Hey =) Welcome to Wattpad! 
          You have a nice story idea but your chapters are really short! I think it would be good for you to try to describe more. It will make your story more interesting as well as lengthening the chapters.  So maybe instead of just writing, *I was nervous* try to describe how she felt nervous. Maybe like this. *My nerves fluttered as I shuffled forward, attempting not to look as panicked as I felt. I wrung my hands together, a light, almost clammy feeling coated them. I feared my voice would crack but I managed to cough slightly, drawing the woman's attention, she smiled at me and my stomach untangled itself *
          
          Something like that would make your chapters longer and help them flow better. =) If you need anything, just message me!
          
          Hope I helped!