call me Lola

I hope everything is okay. You haven’t seemed to have been active on here in two years. I don’t personally know you, but I hope that you are okay. 

why can’t i do anything fucking right?

i’m also in love. and he’s miles away n i miss him

lately i’ve been thinking of harming myself. idk what i have been feeling lately. i know i’m not happy though. 

fuck I feel so depressed rn lmfao

anyway this guy i’m seeing is leaving soon & he’s at work right now. when i see him again it’ll be his last two weeks before he goes back to college. i’m gonna miss him bc i rly am falling for him which terrifies me. 

haven’t been on here in awhile other than to write new chapters for my bookssssss. 

i love when i ACTUALLY reach out for help & everybody runs away 

all i’ve been doing is looking at myself in the mirror & checking the scale to see if i lost weight. i can slowly feel myself getting back to my old habits of not eating enough & throwing up what i ate. i hate this n i have no one to talk to about it..

i rly fucking hate myself i feel so shitty i’m gonna cry