@HwangSoora In all honesty, I think it's better to just cry. I'm sure your family will understand. I'm Latina too and I very recently lost my uncle this December. My mom acts like she's fine, but when she speaks to my aunts and uncles, she doesn't hide her suffering. I'm pretty sure you're all on the same page, losing someone you love doesn't get easier, especially on the holidays. Similarly to you, I never really cared about the holidays. My closest family lives states away from me and the rest of my family lives in another country so it's difficult for me to care about these holidays. But seriously, talking about how you feel and crying if you need to is the best option :)