Larryette the Potato Head

Hey, stop nooting in azkaban. The dementors don't like it

Hey hey hey!!
          And hello to you too, Chelchee
          She's watching me...
          HIPPOPOTATOMEESES!
          So I don't actually know why I'm writing this, but it's very random.
          So peace out, I guess.

Message To All Followers...
          Me: ARGH! STOP LICKING ME!
          Brie (a dog): Sluuuurp *Looks at me with baby puppy dog eyes* Licks my leg again.
          Me: BRIE! 
          Brie: *Puppy dog eyes again*
          Me: STO- awwww <3 fine.
          ---
          Brie: *Won't stop licking*
          Me: Aww baby what's wrong you and ya poor little cotton socks?
          Brie: *Snuffles* *Snuggles Like a big tubby teddy bear* (I actually call her Tubbles sometimes...)
          Me: Are you scared? Anxious? Oh I know! You're still sad about Cedric!
          Brie: *Glances up with her sad chocolate eyes*
          Me: Aw come on baby doll, it's okay! Don't be upset!
          Brie: *Suddenly starts growling* GRRR
          Me: AYY!!! *Lightly taps her little boopy nose* noot! What did Mac ever do to you?
          Mac (the other one): *wag wag wag* *wags* *wags more* *Waggles away from miss grumble pants*
          Me: aww see you scared him away, you big bully!
          Mac: *curls up in tiny little ball despite his size* *does puppy dog eyes with his big round eyes <3*
          Me: AWWW YOU'RE BOTH TO CUTE FOR THIS TO BE POSSIBLE!
          Jaide: Oh hey!
          Me: WHA- Jaide you buttface! You scared me!
          Me: Also why are you in my house?
          Me: And how did you get here?
          Me:...
          Jaide:...
          Jaide: I apparated to tell you; there's a spider in your room.
          Me: WHAT?! NOOOOOO!! WHYYY?!?!?! AHHHH!!!!
          Me:...
          Me: Waaaaaiit a second... How do you know that?
          Jaide: I watch you when you sleep.
          Me: Oh really? 'Cause I though I watched YOU while YOU slept by coming in through the microwave and then stealing all your halloween candy from under your bed!
          Me: Or was that someone else?
          Jaide: ...
          Me: Meh. I honestly don't care, as long as that candy wasn't stale.

          No
          I don lik spidahs
          Waaaaaaffffffuuuuuulllllssss are hereeeeee
          Okay so last night I made chocolate ice cream, meringues, triple chocolate brownies and white chocolate, cake like brownies with glaced cherries. And then I felt sick. Oh well...
          Friend: I'm Hungry
          Me: great.
          Friend: Feed me!
          Me: Does it have to be human?!
          
          Okay so maybe I'm being possessed by the Little Shop of Horrors ghost.
          Which now exists, according to me.
          
          Imagine if we lived in medieval times... WATTLED WOULDN'T EXIST. DUN DUN DUNNN... but no like seriously, we'd have to write with quills or something on parchment. LIKE AT HOGWARTS! Except my wrists would get really saw :(
          
          Me: Squirrel! *Stares off into distance*
          Jaiiiiiiiiiide: Hook!
          Me: Hook!
          Me: Will Turner!
          Chloe: CA-KAW!
          Everybody: me finks deyv gun maaaad
          haha gun 
          okay, redrum
          bye

hey hey hey!
          what up y'all?
          The sky of course!
          I'm feeling very scared and worried right now. You know why? BECAUSE I WAS GETTING MY BAG OUT OF MY LOCKER AND A MASSIVE SPIDER COMES OUT AND STARTS CRAWLING REALLY QUICKLY TOWARDS ME! IT WAS GONNA KILL ME, BUT I SHRIEKED FOR MY FRIEND TO GET IT FOR ME. BUT WHAT IF THERE'S MORE OF SPIDER'S LITTLE BABY SPIDER MINIONS BREWING IN MY LOCKER?!?!?! ARGHHHHHHH
          You know how much I hate spiders? More than I hate the name Keith. And that's really saying something!
          Okay well... I've decided to start my revamped version of TSTPAD, so look out! I'll be periodically updating the new story and Framed in the Flesh.
          SAY GOODBYE!
          GOODBYE! <3

WAAAAATTTTPAAAAADDDDD (.com)
          HELLO!
          GOODMORNING!
          annnnnd I'm in Humanities again...
          Listening to Get Lucky!
          Weird, right?
          Okay so I'm telling you useless stuff again, aren't I? Oh well...
          Now here's something you want to know.
          Maybe.
          SOOOOOOON I will be publishing three new books. THAT'S RIGHT, THREE.
          SO LOOK OUT!
          Also, I'm gonna make a revamped version of The Spy, The Pack and Death sometime in the future and it's gonna be waaaaay better.
          And finally, should I write a fanfiction? 'Cause I am way too many fandoms and maybe I should write something on them...
          THAT'S ALL FOLKS XD

What's on your mind?
          Hmm, I don't know...
          Waffles!
          Me: Argh, small child!
          Small Child: *stares blatantly with big eyes*
          Me: what is it doing? Dude, I think it's plotting to kill us!
          Chloe (my best friend): seriously?!
          Jaide (my other best friend): What? No... Look at it! It's so cute and innocent! Little kids have innocent minds filled with happiness!
          Me: *eye twitches* It's so freaky...
          *dazes off and stares into the distance*
          Jaide and Chloe: ... *randomly talks*
          Me: HOOK!!! Waaaaaiiiit a minute...
          Me: hvoxratciuvibuwdyucu
          Me: doesn't wearing coloured contacts affect your vision? MY DREAMS ARE CRUSHED!!!
          Entire human population: Do we care?
          Me: no, but you will soon 
          Me: just kidding, ⚡️⚡️

CAW CAW!!!
          THE SPIRIT BIRD IS HERE!!!
          I still think it's actually a spaceship being controlled by beings from outer space but what do I know?
          They're probably already among us...
          WE ALL NEED TO HIDE!!!
          ASSEMBLE THE ARMIES!!!
          THEY ARE COMING!!!
          Okay I guess if you won't believe my warnings...
          -
          -
          -
          -
          -
          -
          -
          -
          -
          TOO LATE!!!
          THE APOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN... THE END IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (t)
          I knew Gracie was gonna die...
          And why is Molly's daughter called Annabelle?!?! THAT'S ME! But spelt wrong...
          okay bih

NOOT NOOT!
          Me: *Starts Dancing* EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!
          Friends: what the heck...
          Me: JOIN ME, MY YOUNG PADAWANS
          Me: Stop reading over my shoulder @ImWolfyGirl
          Teacher: *Unplugs computer charger* *Looks around randomly*
          Me: WHEN IS IT REEEEEECEEEEESSSSSSSSSS
          Friend: *says random stuff* has a weird-faced staring competition with me*
          Me: WHY IS LIFE SO RANDOM?!?!?!

EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!!
          I'm writing this for no reason
          with @ImWolfyGirl looking over my shoulder
          She's on my phone
          AHHHH
          I'm scared
          There's a spider
          it hurts my heart
          Just kidding, I'm in homeroom. It's pretty snazzy and new. AND MAJESTIC!
          Okay bye, I'm being useless...