ILove5SOS247

What a day it`s been, it`s March 25th 2023 which means it`s been 8 years since Zayn left 1D :'(, 7 years since Mind Of Mine was released which is crazy to believe it`s been that long already, and today I saw Louis documentary All Of Those Voices :') Oh Kaitlyn how I wish with my whole heart that you could have seen it, I was thinking of you the whole time I was watching it, I got to see it with my sister which was so fun but I still felt sad because you deserved to see it as well :'(  Of course we all know how strong Louis is as a person considering all the things he`s been through but this really showed how it affected him and it broke me to see it on his face. It was beautiful hearing his sisters and grandparents talk about him especially, that family is so precious and I love them so much, their strength has helped me immensely in the process I`ve had/will continue to have with loosing you :') Oh my gosh the part where he was talking about sweet little Freddie/being a dad while clips of them together was playing just warmed my heart, you would have melted during that :') The place we went to was a smaller room then I would have thought it would be but a good amount of fans were there so that was nice to see, these 2 girls that sat by me were really nice to talk to, I`ll probably never see them again but I do wish I asked them their names but it was so fun to sing along with them during the little concert clips :D I know you knew this but wow just when you think you can`t be more prouder of Louis that feeling grows 1000000 times more inside your heart :') I hope this documentary gets put on dvd or something so I can see it whenever I want!!! Again I do wish you could see it but I enjoyed it for you because I know that`s what you would want me to do and I`ll continue to enjoy it hopefully if it`s released in another form. Tonight is definitely a time where I wish I could talk to you babe, I miss it and you endlessly <3

It has been a couple of months since I last made an entry here for you wow! It`s March 17th 2023 which means Taylor Swift`s Eras tour began tonight which is INSANE to think about, so PARAMORE was one of the openers which is so iconic, the outfits Taylor had for each era tonight were AMAZING as you would imagine, the song I was the most surprised that she sang was marjorie :') I didn`t think she would actually sing it but that made me so happy because you know how much that song reminds me of you so I feel like somehow Taylor did that for both of us :') Then today Taylor also dropped 4 unreleased songs in true Taylor fashion haha, If This Was A Movie Taylor`s version for Fearless, All Of The Girls You Loved Before for Lover, Eyes Open Taylor`s version for Red, and Safe & Sound Taylor`s version for Red which I`m so happy about because of course that song is so beautiful and the Hunger Games are some of my favorite movies/books out there so I`m glad she had a re-release for that song! Besides that nothing really crazy has been going on for me, this year has been kind of meh but lots of great music has been coming out so that`s been nice at least. I did however finally have another dream about you for the first time in over a year, it was on the short side but basically I was on vacation with my family somewhere and I met up with you in it and you got to come home with me to stay there for awhile and it was just so nice to hear your voice again and see your beautiful smile even though it was just in a dream, I woke up sad but happy enough :') Sending endless amounts of love to you babe xoxoxo

Tonight was the night for Faith In The Future to be released and oh my gosh my thoughts and feelings are EVERYWHERE like I knew they would be :') First of all of course I wish with my whole heart that you could hear this album, it would truly blow your mind, it`s such a huge difference from Walls as I knew it would be but dude our boy went OFF!!!! The whole album has such a perfect rock vibe to it and he`s been saying that he wrote it with the live shows in mind and he`s 100% correct, these songs are going to sound AMAZING live. I`m over the moon happy he did a rock album because I`ve wanted that ever since Midnight Memories came out and I got my wish!!! Rock music was made for him. He also already released the US tour dates for next summer but there was only 2 California shows and either isn`t near me which I figured but this state is huge and deserves more love in more areas :'( However I am very excited that he`ll be going out on the road again for this album. I`m in love with this album Kaitlyn and I know you would be too if you were still here, I think about when Walls came out all the time and how much fun it was to talk about it together and it hurts my soul that it can`t be that way right now :'( I promise you though that I will enjoy it for you with every part of me and I know you are out there somewhere still as proud of Louis as ever! Much love to you babe and I miss you like crazy <3

Another crazy 24 hours thanks to Louis again haha, yesterday Louis officially announced his second album Faith In The Future that comes out November 11th :') Depending on what version of the album you get it`ll have 14-18 tracks, so far we don`t see COACOAC or Change on any versions yet but I`m still hopeful we get them! He did a cool thing with 3 color cassettes of the album, so each of them have a little piece of a picture that says Faith In The Future and if you buy all 3 of them the album title connects which I though was super cool, the cassettes themselves are really cool too, there`s red, black, and white and each has a checkered detail to them that also matches what the cd looks like so the aesthetic of this era is super neat. Oh and each cassette also has the 369 number spread between them, we still don`t know what that number actually means according to Louis but I thought that was another fun detail he put into the physical copies. So today at 6am he released the first single which is called Bigger Than Me, and yes I stayed up all night to hear it hehehe I just had to ya know and oh my gosh his vocals sound AMAZING in it, and there`s such cool guitar sounds throughout the song, you would have been blown away by it :') I can just see so clearly your reaction to it just as if you were going to react to it on your channel, as strange as that seems its the truth. Then tomorrow at 6am as well the music video will be out but I`ll just wait to see it a little later because I need to get some sleep lmao.

So much happened in the past 24 + hours, yesterday Louis did his second Away From Home Festival and oh my gosh he did AMAZING of course, he didn`t sing anything new like we thought he would but he sang Night Changes and WOW IT SOUNDED SO COOL! IT WAS A ROCK VERSION OF THE SONG WHICH MADE ME SO HAPPY :') I wish you could have heard it because it went so hard. Then we`ve been getting a "leaked" tracklist for the second album over the past few days, he`s had song titles scrambled up and edited onto pictures of him that he`s put on his youtube community page. Then LTHQ made a tiktok account and they`ve been posting little videos about each song on Walls then today there was a reel on instagram AND THERE WAS A SHORT SNIPPET WHERE YOU COULD HEAR HIM SINGING THE WORDS " SOMEBODY TOLD ME I WOULD CHANGE"  SO THATS THE FIRST BIT OF AUDIO OF A NEW SONG THAT WE HAVE. My emotions have been all over the place about that because while I am excited to hear this next album I don`t the Walls era to end because then I`ll be going into a new Louis era without you and you didn`t get to experience the Walls era all the way through like you should have gotten to, I know you got to enjoy the album for the first 6 months of its release which I`m so glad you got to do but I`m heartbroken because you should have gotten to see him on the tour once covid got better, you didn`t even get to know about the Away From Home Festival in general :'( Then tonight miss Taylor Swift surprised us with an announcement of her 10th album Midnights coming out on October 21st. Basically this album has 13 tracks of course hehehe and each one will be telling a story of 13 sleepless nights over her life dealing with good dreams and nightmares then how it`s affected her so that should be interesting. I`m scared though because I know I`m going to relate to it too much.

I`ve finally made it through all of Taylor`s discography and wow that was such a ride, Red, Folklore, and Evermore are my top albums with Lover right behind them. I know you knew I wanted to listen to her stuff sooner and it`s not my fault because we didn`t know that you were going to be gone as fast as you were but I just feel bad I can`t talk to you about my thoughts on everything :(  State Of Grace has to be one of my favorite songs ever of Taylor`s, I don`t know what it is exactly but there`s something about the way it starts out on those drums then that guitar kicks in shortly after just feels so euphoric to me. I know you aren`t mad but I`m still sorry it took me so long to get around to doing this but I`m very happy I did it, listening to someone you loved so dearly makes me feel close to you which helps a lot :')

Wow it`s been almost 4 months since I last "wrote/posted* to you, a lot has happened since then... in my life personally I`ve mostly been busy working at camp this summer of course haha, it`s been tiring but I`ve also had fun with the other summer staff as well and honestly this is my favorite summer team I`ve been a part of yet which is awesome! Then some big news on a deeper level, I "finally" am at a "starting" point to feeling somewhat okay again, of course I`ll still have times where missing you will hit hard but I feel slightly lighter inside now which has been really strange to feel that way again but also good at the same time. In other news Louis tour is almost over, Friday is his last show of the entire tour which is insane, it went by so fast and that`ll pretty much be the end of the Walls era which freaks me out in multiple ways because I don`t want to start a new Louis era without you but also I`m looking forward to whatever he has next for us :') So Shawn did 7 shows of the Wonder tour, I hadn`t watched any clips because I haven`t been ready for that quite yet but then he ended up taking a break for a few weeks for mental health reasons which is understandable, then today he announced that he`s canceling the rest of the tour here in the states and the uk/europe dates due to the same reason. He mentioned that he`s been working with some great health professionals which is good to hear and he even said he`ll be working on music in the meantime but I`m still worried about him a lot tbh, especially since the overseas tour wasn`t until next year so him canceling those shows is making me wonder how bad he actually might be, I know he`s an adult and can take care of himself but he`s also one of the most sweetest people out there and idk I just wish I could do something for him :( I know he`ll be alright I just wish I could talk to you about it in real time because my heart is broken for him.

Shawn also just released another new song that he wrote shortly after the breakup called When You`re Gone, I haven`t heard it yet of course but the artwork for it is super pretty. He`s been able to spend time hanging out with fans again which is so nice to see, and he even said at a recent event he got perform at that he hasn`t felt this connected to us since 2019  :')  5SOS have also been busy with their new era, so far we don`t know when the album comes out or the title but we have 2 songs out now. Complete Mess was the first release and that came out on March 2nd and it truly has to be one of my top 5sos songs now, the music video was so awesome and we also have an acoustic version that the made a little simple video for which was so pretty :D  Then tonight they released a song called Take My Hand and that`s the name of their new world tour as well....holy cow the lyrics in it are so emotional and they have a super cool visualizer video out too. Michael produced both of the songs by the way which is so freaking amazing and I`m so proud of that guy!!! You would love these songs girl  :') I can`t believe they have a 5th album on the way... time has gone so fast.

Just over a week ago Harry announced the date and title for his third album Harry`s House which comes out May 20th and today we got the music video for the first single As It Was and oh my goodness it`s such a different vibe...at the beginning of the song there`s this little voice who is actually Ruby Winston so that just made me melt inside, remember when she was a baby in the HS1 album documentary :')  And the music video is very artsy and he`s wearing a lot of red, plus there`s a couple beautiful promotional photos of him out and ahh he`s just so gorgeous!!! It`s been so overwhelming because I`m very happy to have him back again with new music but I`m also hurting inside because this is the first song of his/the first era you won`t be here for and not being able to talk about it together is making me sad too :'(

4 years ago today we became best friends, it`s hard to believe how much has changed since then, this year being the second anniversary since you`ve been gone and I miss you dearly. It was also 4 years since In My Blood came out which is kind of funny because I remember being so happy about that song and I needed it at the time but I honestly don`t recall it being on the same day we started talking, I wish I could ask you if you remembered that :(  We got the Louis tour US recap video today which was so fun, when I was watching I was wishing we could talk about it but the fact that it got uploaded today of all days meant a lot to me, tomorrow he`ll start the UK/EU section of the tour which is very exciting especially since he`ll be playing a hometown show soon :')  I hope you`re okay out there my beautiful angel <3