Alright, listen all you bastards, I'm south Italy! I don't give a fuck what you've heard, I'm Italy, got it? My stupid brother is north Italy!
 
You can call me Romano or Lovino or south Italy, or whatever the hell you want! I don't really give a damn.
 
Now, just to get all of your perverted minds out of the damn gutter, NO, me and that bastard Spain are NOT in a relationship. I don't give a fuck what you've heard from Japan, it's not gonna happen!!! 

Also, if you so much as mention that potato bastard, germany, on my page, you can consider yourself dead.

Yes, I love tomatoes. Hence my name, idiotas.

No, I do not know German. Why would I?

Yes, I know how to play the guitar. And I'm fucking fantastic at it.

No, I do not like potatoes. I hate them.

Yes, I love my brother, but in a he's-an-idiot-and-I-need-to-look-out-for-him sort of way!

No, I do not like England's cooking. Who the hell does?

Yes, I like pasta. I'm Italian, you shit head.

No, I do not think that tomatoes are a fruit.

Yes, I love Spai-...uh...spaghetti...! I love spaghetti.

Anyway, that's all you damn stalkers need to know about me! Got anymore questions? Ask. Don't be shy. I don't bite. I smack, hit, punch, kick, yell, scream, and kill. But never bite. Unless your a tomato.

So, grazie for your time, you bastards. And fan me if you don't suck. 

Addio. Ciao. Good-bye. Whatever.