YeetSkeetSelfDelete

UwU Hi waifu

I'm sorry I've been really inactive. I'm worse than I've ever been in my life to the point I physically struggle to get out of bed now.  I'm constantly shivering and freezing cold even in hot temperatures. I've been struggling with relapsing in my ED and c-tting. I've also kind of been thinking about suicide a lot lately. Like a l o t.  I do have anti depressants now but they're not working so I'm hoping to get different meds. More than anything, I just want to leave this life forever. I want to move on from all of this and forget any of it happened because I can't deal. Here's to hoping I make it to tomorrow I guess.

Don’t you love it when you find out one of the few people you really love and trust in your family constantly talks about you and invalidates your mental illnesses and sexuality

That moment when you’re having the worst breakdown of your life but other more important things are going on and you know your friends don’t wanna hear your shit so you just ✌️

That moment when the emotions you’ve been bottling for 7+ months try to escape
          *shocked pikachu*

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Occasionally I get these weird.. episodes I guess? They vary a lot. One time I felt like my skin was crawling and I wanted to like tear it all off physically, like it had nothing to do with my perception of my body. And just a bit ago I had like a need to do a bunch of things at once and an overwhelming urge to break like my bones??? And I kept panicking because I felt like I needed them to break?? I felt sick to my stomach. Does anyone know what this is???

So here’s aNoThEr rant-
          I don’t know if it’s other countries too but from personal experience the American school system is one of the most fucked up things ever. Teachers tell you that your grades matter more than anything and that you’re lazy and if you haven’t understood such and such by now you’re stupid and you’re going to fail. Like what even?? Turn in something late? You’re lazy and irresponsible but of course if the teacher forgets to put in grades or something it’s because they have so much to do. So do we! Projects and tests every single week, homework constantly, essays. We are forced to stay in a building for 8 hours where teachers do nothing about bullying or actual problems people have. We’re told when we can and can’t eat, when we can or can’t use the restroom. We’re taught that it’s ok for people to put you down and tell you you’re not doing enough because no matter how hard you try, it’s not enough for them. You’re taught that grades are more important than whatever you have going on. Teachers yell and tell you you’re going to fail if you don’t try harder but you’ve given everything you have and they still want more. School is genuinely causing so many kids illnesses because we’re not taught self love or how hard to push ourselves before we break or that it’s not ok for people to put you down. I’m having breakdowns and panic attacks weekly in school. Weekly. And anytime you ask for help it’s, “you should know this already!” And we have so many assignments all at once and it’s always, “you’ve had plenty of time.” Screw the school system.
          
          
          
          Thanks for coming to my extremely long TED talk.

Yo, if anyone wants to join my Discord surver heeeeeere is the link https://discord.gg/PUYBXz judgement free place to talk about our fandoms and stuff

I have ISSUES. Like whenever I have a sleepover I enjoy it so much because I don’t like my family very much and my friends mean the world to me. But then I get SO upset when they have to leave because I don’t want to be alone with my family and I get kinda sad if they don’t want to stay longer because they miss their family but I don’t hardly ever miss my family. Every summer I leave them for a month or more and I’m perfectly fine and like I don’t know anyone else like this???

I am NOT ok. So a few years ago I watched Wolf Blood. I decided to revisit it only to cry T H R E E times. They totally ruined it! Like now it’s all about Jana but WHAT ABOUT MADDY, RHYDIAN, SHANNON, AND TOM?! HE SAID HE WIULD LOOK FOR HER! HE SAID HE LOVED HERRRRRRR-
          *silently crying* please help me