Miriam

(2/2)
          
          I'm aware of the fact that this might seem like giving up after only a few weeks, but this is not the first time this has happened to me. I've been on Wattpad before, other name, and back then, the same thing happened: I became addicted. I stopped using the app for quite some time and my obsession faded, but in the end, I couldn't resist the siren's call. I returned, and now I find myself in the same situation all over again. I'm easily obsessed and easily addicted, and just like any other addiction, this one, and my current situation, is not healthy.
          My therapist and I have agreed that I will go cold turkey: I won't be online for at least two weeks, possibly four more if necessary, starting now. I've already deleted the app, and after I post this message, I will close the website. I will be back, of course, I don't want to miss you guys forever - but right now, I have to prioritise my own health. I'm sorry to bother you with all this, but I felt like you deserved an explanation. I love you guys, and we'll meet again.
          
          Thank you for reading, thank you for everything. I won't stop writing, and when I return, I will read everything I missed. Thank you so much for your reads, your votes and your kind words.
          
          Yours truly,
          Miriam.

To whoever finds this note,
          
          I know you guys probably won't read this, and if you do, you probably won't care, but whatever. With this message I would like to let everybody know that I won't be visiting this website for the next few weeks.
          I've been trying to make the online world a little better, by talking to people, by voting and commenting, by loving the time I spent on here, and I'm eternally grateful for those of you who did the same to me. Thank you so, so much. I love all of you.
          But the last few days, I can feel that I'm starting to get obsessed with this site, spending unreal amounts of time on here, and obsessed with its numbers. Amount of reads, amount of votes, amount of comments... I keep visiting the site and I keep opening the app, not to read or write, but to stare at the numbers. Every time they do not change, every time they do not go up, I feel like a failure, I feel like the bullied little girl I once was all over again. Always the last one to be chosen, so many people who did not want to play with or talk to or work with me... I've grown up, I'm not bullied anymore, but this website is making me feel like I go through it again. I'm always looking for appreciation, but this website is not the answer to the problems I have with my self-esteem. More reads won't make me feel better about myself, and more votes won't make me a better person. I have to find appreciation and worth in my own life, not online, at least not now.  This is something that I need to work on by myself, and it's something that I won't be able to deal with while I keep spending time around here.
          (1/2)

I have an exam tomorrow and I have to finish an essay today, but instead of doing anything remotely productive, I'm practically living on this website. Someone, please make me go back to my work, this is bad. 

Uh, hi.