I_am_a_Pan

Medic: “Do you ever vanna talk about your emotions Herr Sniper?”
          	
          	Sniper: “No.” 
          	
          	Scout: “I do!” 
          	
          	Medic: “I know Scout.”
          	
          	Scout: “I’m sad...” 
          	
          	Medic: “I know Scout.”

I_am_a_Pan

Literal conversation I had today as Soldier: 
          
          Some random Spyper dude: “Soldier I sWEAR TO GOD IF YOU TELEPORTED BREAD AGAIN-“
          
          Me *As Soldier*: “I had too! The teleporter was just begging to be used!” 
          
          Spyper dude: “First off, teleporters can’t talk, and two, don’t you remember what happened last time you teleported bread? You made a giant bread monster that destroyed the base! And now we have mini bread monsters in our soup...look, just don’t teleport any more bread, okay? Next time you do so we’ll have to hide the teleporters-“ 
          
          Me *as Soldier*: “You cannot tell me what to do! This is America! I’m free to do what I want! And if that means teleporting bread then I will do so and I will do so joyously!” 
          
          Spyper: “That’s it, I’m hiding the teleporters. You’re “free” to search for them as much as you’d like, but I doubt you’ll find them, bud.”
          
          Me *as Soldier*: “You just disrespected an American, Son! Your future does not look bright.” 
          
          Spyper: “Sure buddy...” 
          
          Me *as Soldier of course*: “You better shut that smart mouth of yours or I’ll rip it right off your face! You do not want to mess with a Soldier!” 
          
          *few minutes later* 
          
          “Apologies. It has now been brought to my attention by Engineer that I may have been a little to harsh with you. But I will not forget this!” 
          
          (And that’s it. They never responded after that lol) (Also here’s the picture this little “argument” was based off of.) 
          
          https://pin.it/65TyLEv

I_am_a_Pan

*Soldier to everyone else*: “If god had wanted you to live, he would not have created me.” 
          
          *Soldier towards Engie*: “If god had wanted you to die, he would not have created me.” 
          
          (Lol just thought I could twist the quote into something cute. Like how he’s talking about protecting him) (F.Y.I I’m a Helmet party shipper. I know he’s canonically with Zhanna but I just can’t help myself.)

I_am_a_Pan

@Watermelon_Bread that is true
• Reply

Watermelon_Bread

@I_am_a_Pan 
            i mean....Blu soilder isnt with anyone so...
• Reply

I_am_a_Pan

*Tom and Tord are just sitting there when suddenly Edd and Matt appear with suspicious smirks on their faces*
          
          Tom: “Edd whatever you’re about to do, don’t do it.” 
          
          Edd: “Maya-hi”
          
          Tom: “No! I’m not falling for this again!” 
          
          Matt: “Maya-Hu
          
          Tom: “Nope I’m leaving!” *leaves to kitchen* 
          
          Tord: “Maya-ho”
          
          *Tom then struggles before letting it out and saying:* “Maya-haha! ... DAMN IT!” 
          
          Tord, Matt, and Edd: “Vrei sa pleci dar numa numa iei, numa numa iei.” 
          
          Tom *defeatedly*: “Numa numa numa iei.” 
          
          Tord, Matt, and Edd: “AYYYY!”