I so get you. It's like you're slowly dying on the inside but everything around you seems fine (what an overused word). And then you have to go along with it and pretend that everything is fine when you really just wanna break down and not be a strong tower for anybody else. Sometimes you even realize that you're being a strong tower just for yourself not anyone else; like, if you give in and collapse under the weight of the world, then you'll just become a "hot mess" on the outside too. But no one wants people to know how they are on the inside. Yet it is so relatable. Everyone is a hot mess on the inside, whether they know it or not, whether they hide it or not, whether they feel the messiness coursing through them and turning them into a hot mess or not. But, some people accept the fact of life that life itself is a hot mess and just keep going. They are amazing people who really should be rewarded. Keep your head high and keep that strong face on and you'll be just fine. Luckily, I'm not as much of a hot mess as some people are.
I don't know if that made sense or not but I tried to explain what I think. Sorry for the rant. :)
