Jaid

Also was trying to read the ritual so I could have an actual opinion before I judge it and do a review.
          
          Already cringing. This chick fell down and was breathing heavily and she was like “as I started breathing heavily, my boobs started bouncing up and down on my chest and my nipples hardened.”
          
          Like, for one, what the fuck. For two, you must not know the anatomy of a woman because the only time my boobs bounce when I’m breathing heavily is when I’m running. I promise if I’m having a panic attack, my boobs aren’t bouncing the whole time. Also, you got knocked down and you’re turned on?
          
          I regret dark romance books from time to time. There’s a couple good ones but this one is not one of them

I can’t ever read “he roared” in a book seriously because my next thought is “It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight
          Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
          And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
          And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger”

If the Ted lasso cast ever went to dragon con, I’d be giggling and kicking my feet
          
          And probably unconscious from fainting but that’s no important

On other terms, I have found out “Ted lasso’s canonically large dick” is very much a real tag on ao3

My parents: we know you were up at 2:30. You were watching porn weren’t you?
          
          Me: nope, I was doing something weirder.
          
          My parents: like what
          
          Me: watch Roy Kent from ted lasso pour baby powder on himself and perform the muppets Christmas carol in six minutes.
          
          My parents: what is wrong with you?
          
          Me: I blame autism and Brett Goldstein

Anytime I feel bad about my writing, I just remind myself that somebody created a book where a woman gets fucked by anamorphic turkey basters and it somehow got published and put in book stores

They should honestly have celebrities read crack fanfics about characters they’ve played rather than thirst tweets.
          
          I wanna see them try to hold a straight face while reading about how their character is in love with Shrek.

The most annoying kids in elementary school were the ones who made it their goal to make other kids cry by telling them Santa isn’t real.
          
          Like, you’re a real asshole dude. Let kids believe in Santa. It’s not gonna kill them. Sorry your childhood got ruined, but mine’s been great.

My brother asked me how many words does War and Peace have and I looked it up and it has 587,287 words. He said that was long. And I was like “yeah I dunno if I would be able to read something that long.”
          
          And then I realized I’ve read a 750000 word long Punisher fanfiction. I dunno whether I should be impressed or disappointed in myself

I have actually found the motivation to be productive so look out for some new chapters tomorrow