Meg

Goodbye. I love you all. 
          I’ll probably forget most of you cause I have terrible memory but I’ll never forget our times together. 
          I don’t really use it but I believe my Instagram is the same name and I think so is my Pinterest (I do use that a lot)
          
          See you on the other side of the war?

People who love you deserve to see you at your worst, just like you deserve to see them at theirs. That’s literally what love is about. 
          
          Can we stop pretending that someone having an annoying trait is a good reason to not be their friend? You likely have annoying traits too that you wouldn’t want to lose a friendship over. And I’m not saying this because someone unfriended me, I’m saying it because I see it around me constantly. Yall are too hard on each other. 
          
          Matthew 7:5 first get rid of the log in your own eye and then you can see clearly to help your friend remove the speck from their eye 
          
          Try to better yourself before trying to better others. Once you’re better you’ll be wise enough to know how to help others. And your mindset should always be about helping them grow, not just to change them to fit your life.

Knowing my love life is in Gods hands is so relieving.

Friendly reminder that something you may not mind but don’t love doing may be something someone else absolutely hates doing. 
          
          And on that note, if you could literally always do stuff you love you, wouldn’t appreciate it as much and it might become something you don’t love anymore. 
          
          So friendly reminder to STOP focusing on the negative.

People making time for me in their busy lives is so sweet
          Like I’m important enough for you to spend your very little free time with? 
          Marry me.

IDK what’s happening. 
          It’s been a crazy month, let me yap about it. 
          
          February 8th. Horrible day. My birthday. Tell myself that if boy I used to like doesn’t say happy birthday, it’s time to consider he may not be for me. 
          He didn’t say happy birthday. 
          So I make a deal with myself and God,  that if no male friend of mine messages me privately about literally anything, by the end of March 8th, I’m gonna give up on love. 
          
          February goes on. Lots of drama at work (nothing worth your time but it took quite a toll on my mental health tbh)
          February ends and nothing happens. 
          
          March 1st I wake up sick. 
          But alas! I FaceTime my sister after church and her phone was passed around family members as they tried to do important things while keeping me there. I say hi to lots of friends (my crush being one) and I think to myself maybe there’s hope. Maybe after saying hi, he’ll miss me and wanna talk to me…
          (Spoiler alert I may be the most delulu person on the planet)
          Nothing happens. 
          
          A few more days and nothing. Then I stay up too late and look at my phone. It’s the end of March 8th and nothing. But if it’s so late then obviously it’s time to call it. Give up on love for now. I go to sleep wanting to cry. 
          
          I wake up the next morning and realize today is March 8th. It was after midnight. It’s not yet the end of the 8th. 
          I have one more day. 
          
          Butttt probably nothing will happen. 
          
          
          Anyways today my father took me to work with him to volunteer. 
          While I was there this teenage boy kept staring at me. Which idk if is really weird or just normal. Sometimes you stare at new people to get a first impression yk? But also, do teenage boys actually do that? Idk but come to think of it, it actually isn’t weird tbh cause people like people older all the time (me. I like older people). So it’s only weird if I like him which I don’t so we’re good. Ignore me. 
          
          I take a break from work and look at my phone. 
          I pause. 
          My male friend I never would’ve expected to message me, massaged me.

Hey there Delilah played on the radio. It’s honestly been so long that I don’t even really remember Delilah tbh… I wonder how she’s doing.

Guys I’m actually so sad. 
          
          So I turn 20 on Sunday and i can’t make a big deal about it which is okay but I originally wanted to spend it with a mamma Mia themed party with my family in Florida. 
          BUT because I’m out here doing spontaneous things like moving in with my dad in a northern state cause I’m trying to follow God and whatnot… I’m in the cold with no family (except dad) or friends 
          And so I’m not even gonna see any family (again other than my dad) for my birthday :((
          
          And he’s like “what do you wanna do for your birthday?” Like I literally don’t know. The only thing I want is to spend it with my siblings but they’re all like 1000 miles away. 
          
           I’ve literally never been the type to do much on my birthday (at first (my childhood) it wasn’t my choice but now idk I just don’t care that much) but 20 is an important number… and feels like I need to make a big deal about it but I can’t. It’s too cold to do anything fun. 
          
          And It sucks :(

Don’t give up on growing just because you had one (or more) lazy day. 
          Don’t give up on anything you know is for the better.

I’ll never forget you Cecelia (traitor, come back)