IittIeb0dybigheart

“Oh, I think you’re holding the heart of mine! Pull it apart- that’s fine…”

I hate the word “pookie” so much, it makes me wanna crawl out of my skin and die. It makes me so uncomfortable to the point i want to cry. I have my reasons for this but it genuinely makes me cry every time I see it

“Am I just a number? Cause it seems like that’s your goal. You push us past our limits just to watch decimals grow, oh- i need a reason why I’m looked at like a joke. Until I prove you wrong like I’ve done time and time before and all your idle teachings and your criticism lack, the potential to penetrate my solid golden path, to decide what my future is, im my own clairvoyant. There’s no controlling me, imagination on ascend.”

I can’t stop crying I’m terrified djsjs 

I can’t hang on much longer, I’m so sorry.

Knowing I’ll never be able to trust love again after this hurts. I don’t even trust it now. The one person who “loves me” tells me lies. It’s all lies. All. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. 

“My heart space and my cranium must be loved too, my dear. Don’t push me to the edge until I’m useless and can’t feel.” 

Those thoughts on the past suck. “Did he really cheat on me?” Fuck yeah he did wtf you mean? He literally told you how stupid can you be

Knowing about half of my behaviour is trauma responses like being over apologetic hurts so bad, yknow? It hurts even more when people get mad at me for it. I wish I could control these things too.

If i die soon, thank you for being here <3