(I’m fine now btw, just clearing my head)
Not everyone talks about how hard it is to see someone you’ve admired and found comfort in going down the same unfortunate path you have. It’s happened quite often with me, with one of the more intense issues being my past mental health. I’ve liked vtubers since I started this account, as seen with my fics. I’ve found comfort in them to cope, like something to distract myself with when my thoughts consumed me. So seeing the one I turned to frequently (Ike from NijiEN) quit due to mental struggles and bullying, it really solidified my desire to seek help. As it’s hard to claw out of the hole you dug, hard to accept help since no one can truly cure the disease inside your head. Unless you let go of the fear of being judged for feeling, for failing, or anything else holding you back.
Though I’m a little hypocritical myself, since I had found solace in my struggles a while back. Since it felt like the only thing keeping me alive. Though in reality, it poisoned my life for at least two years. Staining every interaction and friendship I’ve had since then, until now, it resurfaces from time to time. But I hope I can control it for a couple more years.
