IloveUm0r3

My flight back is later tonight. Another long flight.
          	
          	Hmm… thinking about the days ahead.
          	
          	Chaotic, as always. Long days. Little sleep. A lot to deal with.
          	
          	Tiring, definitely.
          	
          	But somehow, it’s still worth it.
          	
          	Then this thought just came out of nowhere.
          	
          	I don’t even know why.
          	
          	I wasn’t trying to think about it. It just showed up… quietly, unexpectedly, and somehow stayed.
          	
          	Maybe some thoughts don’t need a reason.
          	
          	If I could be where you are,
          	
          	I think I’d just sit beside you.
          	
          	No explanations. No pretending we don’t feel the things we’re both trying not to name.
          	
          	I’d probably look at you a little longer than I should, then look away like you didn’t catch me.
          	
          	But you would.
          	
          	And maybe that’s what scares me.
          	
          	Because I don’t just miss you when you’re gone.
          	
          	I miss you in moments you’ve never even been part of.
          	
          	In songs. In quiet mornings. In the middle of a thought that suddenly feels incomplete because you’re not there to share it.
          	
          	Sometimes something beautiful happens and before I can stop myself, my mind goes,
          	
          	I wish you were here.
          	
          	And maybe that’s all this is.
          	
          	Maybe I just want to be close enough to find out what happens when we stop pretending there’s nothing between us.
          	
          	Because if I could be where you are…
          	
          	I’m not sure I’d want to leave.

IloveUm0r3

My flight back is later tonight. Another long flight.
          
          Hmm… thinking about the days ahead.
          
          Chaotic, as always. Long days. Little sleep. A lot to deal with.
          
          Tiring, definitely.
          
          But somehow, it’s still worth it.
          
          Then this thought just came out of nowhere.
          
          I don’t even know why.
          
          I wasn’t trying to think about it. It just showed up… quietly, unexpectedly, and somehow stayed.
          
          Maybe some thoughts don’t need a reason.
          
          If I could be where you are,
          
          I think I’d just sit beside you.
          
          No explanations. No pretending we don’t feel the things we’re both trying not to name.
          
          I’d probably look at you a little longer than I should, then look away like you didn’t catch me.
          
          But you would.
          
          And maybe that’s what scares me.
          
          Because I don’t just miss you when you’re gone.
          
          I miss you in moments you’ve never even been part of.
          
          In songs. In quiet mornings. In the middle of a thought that suddenly feels incomplete because you’re not there to share it.
          
          Sometimes something beautiful happens and before I can stop myself, my mind goes,
          
          I wish you were here.
          
          And maybe that’s all this is.
          
          Maybe I just want to be close enough to find out what happens when we stop pretending there’s nothing between us.
          
          Because if I could be where you are…
          
          I’m not sure I’d want to leave.

IloveUm0r3

A short break is worth every minute.
          
          Away from the chaotic world, spending time with family and friends, laughing, catching up, and simply being present.
          
          Seeing Grandma and Grandpa smile really warms my heart. There’s something about seeing the people you love happy that makes everything else feel a little less heavy.
          
          For a little while, I forgot about the deadlines, the noise, and all the things waiting for me when this moment ends.
          
          Then a butterfly passed by.
          
          And somehow, I thought of my parents.
          
          Two months from now, my birthday will come around again. So will the anniversary of the day they passed.
          
          My birthday and their goodbye, sharing the same date.
          
          Funny how life can hold something beautiful and heartbreaking in the very same place.
          
          If I could freeze time right here, I probably would.
          
          Tomorrow, I’ll be back to reality.....

IloveUm0r3

Family gatherings always get chaotic. ;)
          
          One more word and I might forget everything… Hmm… interesting.
          
          I was about to say something, then I caught Grandma and Grandpa looking at me and smiling.
          
          I know that look.  They’re teasing me.
          
          What a day.

IloveUm0r3

Hmm...
          
          Who would've thought that one day I'd be writing whatever crossed my mind...
          
          The ordinary days.
          
          The things my heart couldn't say out loud.
          
          The quiet moments that somehow became the loudest memories.
          
          Maybe one day life will become so busy that I'll forget I ever wrote any of this.
          
          The next few days will be chaotic again.
          
          Another string of long days.
          
          Another handful of sleepless nights.
          
          Until these words quietly disappear beneath the weight of ordinary life.
          
          And then, years from now, I'll stumble across them again.
          
          I'll read them slowly.
          
          Smile at some.
          
          Cry over others.
          
          And remember the person I was when I wrote them.
          
          Perhaps that's the real reason I write.
          
          Not so the world will remember me...
          
          but so I never forget the parts of myself that once needed to be heard.

IloveUm0r3

The departure board says my flight is delayed.
          
          So I'm sitting in the airport lounge, watching strangers come and go, each carrying a destination, a story, or someone waiting for them.
          
          It gave me a quiet moment to write something that had been on my mind.
          
          "The Reason to Smile"
          
          Funny how life sometimes asks us to wait,
          
          only to hand us a quiet moment
          
          we didn't know we needed.
          
          As people hurried toward their gates,
          
          I found myself wondering...
          
          How many people have forgotten
          
          that they are someone's reason to smile?
          
          Not because they did something extraordinary.
          
          But because they simply existed.
          
          Maybe it was the stranger
          
          who felt less alone
          
          because you smiled.
          
          The friend
          
          who laughed
          
          after reading your message.
          
          The child
          
          who believed kindness still exists
          
          because you shared a little of yours.
          
          Or perhaps...
          
          Someone is carrying the memory of your laughter
          
          through a difficult season,
          
          and you'll never know.
          
          We spend so much of our lives
          
          wondering if we matter.
          
          Maybe we've been asking
          
          the wrong question.
          
          What if our purpose
          
          was never to be remembered by everyone...
          
          but to quietly leave
          
          one heart
          
          a little lighter
          
          than we found it?
          
          Some people will never tell you
          
          that you saved
          
          a small part of them.
          
          They'll simply carry your kindness
          
          into the rest of their lives.
          
          And perhaps...
          
          that's the most beautiful thing
          
          about being human.
          
          The lives we touch.
          
          The hope we leave behind.
          
          The smiles
          
          that never find their way back to us
          
          yet exist anyway.
          
          So if no one has told you this today...
          
          Thank you.
          
          For being someone's reason to smile,
          
          even if you'll never know their name.

IloveUm0r3

The most beautiful words about love I heard this morning didn't come from a book or a film.
          
          They came from a couple having breakfast across from me by the beach.
          
          The morning was so quiet that I could hear their conversation.
          
          Then I heard him say,
          
          "You are the heart of my heart, the very life of my life."
          
          I smiled without meaning to.
          
          It sounded like something people only say in stories.
          
          But long after they had finished breakfast and walked away, those words stayed with me.
          
          I found myself staring at the sea, watching the waves return again and again, wondering how a few words from complete strangers could awaken a part of me I'd spent so long trying to quiet.
          
          Maybe it wasn't the romance that stayed with me.
          
          Maybe it was the safety hidden inside those words.
          
          To be loved without fear.
          
          To trust someone with your heart and never have to wonder if they'll be the one to break it.
          
          The truth is, not everyone I've loved deserved that place in my life.
          
          Some people arrived to teach me.
          
          Others left carrying pieces of me I had to learn to rebuild.
          
          So before I ever call someone the love of my life, I'll ask myself different questions now.
          
          Can I trust this person with my heart?
          
          Will they protect it when I'm not looking?
          
          Or will I spend another season healing from someone who promised they never would hurt me?
          
          I've learned that the right kind of love doesn't leave you questioning your worth.
          
          It doesn't make you chase reassurance.
          
          It doesn't make you wonder where you stand.
          
          It lets you exhale.
          
          Maybe true love isn't finding someone you can't live without.
          
          Maybe it's finding someone you never have to recover from.
          
          The waves kept returning.
          
          The morning carried on as if nothing had changed.
          
          But something had.
          
          For the first time in a long while, I wasn't wondering who would love me.
          
          I was wondering who would be gentle enough to deserve the heart I've spent so long putting back together.
          
          ...
          
          Could it be you?
          
          Never mind.

IloveUm0r3

A few hours of sleep...
          Still woke up early.
          
          Coffee first.
          
          It was a little too quiet, so I put on some music to keep me company and stay awake.
          
          The first song that came on was Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars.
          
          Not a bad way to start the morning.
          Maybe a long drive.
          Maybe breakfast by the beach.
          Maybe a jog while the sun comes up.
          
          We'll see where the morning takes me.
          
          Then I noticed my best friend had texted me late last night.
          
          I've barely been on my phone lately, so I didn't even see it until this morning.
          
          "You're seriously not allowed to be this funny and this attractive at the same time. Pick a struggle."
          
          I stared at it for a good minute.
          Pretty sure she sent it to the wrong person.
          
          But...
          
          She already hit send.
          
          So I replied...
          
          "Too late. I've already screenshotted it. You can't unsend confidence. Now explain yourself."
          
          She's probably still snoring, so I'm not expecting a reply anytime soon.
          
          By the time she wakes up...
          
          I'm guessing she'll be trying to figure out how to unsend a message that's already been read.
          
          Good luck with that. ;)

IloveUm0r3

I'm out on the balcony.
          Funny, though...
          I'm not even sleepy.
          I guess my body still thinks it's supposed to be awake.
          
          Hot chocolate warming my hands.
          
          The city's still awake.
          A few stars managed to find their way through.
          
          For the first time in a while...
          My mind is quiet.
          I didn't realize how tired I'd been until tonight.
          
          I have a few days away from work.
          On Monday, I'll be flying to LHR.
          Grandma and Grandpa have no idea yet.
          
          I'm not telling them.
          I want to see the look on their faces when I show up at the door.
          Just thinking about that makes my heart feel a little lighter.
          
          Funny...
          
          I've realized every place knows a different version of me.
          The office gets the one who always has an answer.
          The hospital gets the one who stays strong, even when I'm exhausted.
          
          And here...
          I don't have to be either.
          
          Tonight...
          I'm not talking to you, Moon.
          I'm just admiring how beautiful you are.
          
          Besides...
          
          If anyone catches me talking to you again,
          they'll probably think I've finally lost it.
          So let's just pretend we're both enjoying the view.
          
          
          Maybe after these few days off...
          I'm not sure if I'll come back here.
          The days are about to get busy again.
          
          It's a strange thought.
          
          A little sad, if I'm being honest.
          Maybe it's time to give my heart something else to hold onto.
          
          For now...
          
          I'll let the quiet do what words can't.

IloveUm0r3

I almost told someone what was on my mind today.
          
          Then I smiled...
          
          and decided some thoughts deserve a little more time before they become words.
          
          Good morning.
          
          Something about today feels different.
          
          I'm just going to let it be.