Athena

Nothing beats that post jog shower. Muscles finally relaxed, body feeling light. The house is still quiet… sneaking into the kitchen for breakfast before my cousin and nephew wake up to reclaim the chaos.

Woke up earlier than I wanted to, body still carrying yesterday’s fatigue like a heavy coat I can’t quite shrug off. I go through my usual morning motions on autopilot—slow, familiar, almost grounding.
          
          I’m heading out for a jog anyway. The air will sting a little at first, lungs adjusting, legs resisting before they give in. I still feel tired… but not as drained as yesterday. Just enough energy to move forward, even if it’s not easy yet.

I walk in exhausted, travel still clinging to me, my body heavy, eyes barely keeping up. All I want is to lie down and disappear for a while.
          
          Then I see him.
          
          He stops like he is not sure it is really me… and then his face lights up. Just pure happiness. He runs to me like I am the best thing he has seen all day.
          
          And I feel it, how tired I am… and how I cannot say no.
          
          I do not have the energy for big things. No running around, no games that need too much from me.
          
          But I sit down. I let him come close. I let him talk, play, pull me into his little world.
          
          It is not much, but to him, it is everything.
          
          And as I look at him, something in me softens even more.
          He looks so much like my older brother when he was younger… the same face, the same light.
          For a moment, it feels like a piece of him is still here.
          
          I really love this kid.

Finally back in my sanctuary. I missed this house in my bones… only to walk into a disaster zone. My cousin really said ‘I got it’ and then let chaos take over 
          I hate the mess and I’m exhausted from traveling, but it still feels good to be back. I’ll have someone come clean the house. Now I’m just wondering where the hell are my cousin and nephew. They should be heading back home to London anytime soon.

Grams and Grans have no idea I’m showing up for the birthday surprise in a few hours. I’ve missed them so much. Going off the grid for the next 3 days to focus on what truly matters before heading back to reality.
          This break is worth it. I feel relaxed, with just a hint of good stress.

I’m usually quiet, and I don’t like attention. But some connections don’t ask, they just pull you out of your silence. And suddenly, it’s not about the chase… it’s about being seen in a way you didn’t know you needed.

Few more days left I’m making the most of it, though I kind of miss the chaos. 
          
          Today, a stranger sat across from me in a restaurant that wasn’t even full while I was quietly reading and minding my own business. Out of nowhere, he goes, “Are you Netflix? Because I could watch you for hours.” I just stared at him, completely serious, no smile, like I was about to ask him to present a quarterly report. He started buffering, laughed nervously, and asked if it was too much. I finally said, “Depends, are you on premium? Because I don’t deal with ads… and your trial period just expired.”
          
          He laughs really laughs and that’s when I find out he actually owns the restaurant I’m dining in… he is handsome tho.
          
          Damn, I guess I’m a subscription-based streaming service :)

Life has a way of reminding me that everything is temporary.
          The places, the feelings, even the versions of ourselves we thought would stay.
          I’m starting to see things more clearly now,
          even the parts I used to ignore.
          Turns out “real” was never the same as broken.
          It’s just the quiet courage of choosing truth over armor.
          I think I’ll live here for a while…
          even if part of me is still afraid of what “real” might mean, and whether I should trust it again.
          
          Should I trust it again… tell me?

There’s something so priceless about sitting in my own space, at peace, just taking in the view. In these quiet moments, I feel most connected to everything.

I fell in love with the sunrise while I am still learning how to feel it.