Athena

In the middle of reading some report, this slipped through
          
          Why does my heart keep whispering your name,
          like it never learned how to forget?
          
          Would you even know…
          or am I the only one carrying this
          something quiet, aching, relentless,
          that presses against me even when I try to breathe?
          
          I hope you’re okay.

May the coffee hit my bloodstream like a small, legal miracle…
          before reality barges in uninvited, loud, and asking for things I’m not emotionally prepared to give.
          
          Waiting for caffeine to resurrect my personality,
          restart my brain, and convince me that participating in life is a reasonable idea…
          
          Good morning to me… let’s see if I survive this. ☕

An unexpected message from Dokie pops up, and I can’t help smiling. She’s checking if gramps is doing okay. She could just call them directly, of course… but even from so far away, she never fails to reply. Each small gesture carries a quiet warmth that lingers, shrinking the distance in a way that makes the world feel a little softer. I can’t help feeling a little envious of the comfort she brings them, those little acts of care are a reminder of how much thoughtfulness matters, even from afar.

Woke up late, later than I ever let myself.
          The morning had already slipped ahead, like it didn’t bother waiting.
          
          Missed my workout.
          My body noticed… immediately.
          
          And my brain,
          completely uncooperative. Not tired, just… blank.
          Like someone unplugged me mid thought and forgot to plug me back in.
          
          I sat there for a while, staring into nothing,
          waiting for my mind to catch up with the rest of me…
          wondering if I needed a reset button or just a strong coffee.
          
          Maybe that’s it.
          Something bold, a little unforgiving, enough to wake whatever part of me is still hiding.

I noticed the music stopped and looked up. It’s 2 a.m.
          
          I haven’t even noticed the hours passing.
          No hint of tiredness.
          My mind is sharp, dissecting, checking, correcting,
          leaving nothing to chance.
          
          I keep going. I always do.
          Mistakes cost more than time.
          
          It’s quiet. Almost too quiet.
          Just me, thinking, deciding, refining
          until it finally feels right.
          
          For a moment, I wonder
          how long I’ve been like this.

Standing on a balcony, looking up.
          
          The sky is already deep midnight blue, framed by tall buildings that seem to disappear into it. A few clouds drift slowly overhead, unbothered, like time itself has slowed down for a moment.
          
          Below, the world is still moving. Headlights sliding through the streets. Windows glowing quietly in the distance… each one holding a different story.
          
          Up here though, it’s strangely calm.
          
          Just the cool night air, the distant murmur of life below, and a couple of stubborn stars trying their best to be seen through all the lights.
          
          Funny how a place that never really sleeps can still hold a moment this quiet.
          
          Sometimes I think about disappearing… deleting this account, letting silence take over.
          Would it matter?
          Would anyone notice… or feel the space I leave behind?

My flight was cancelled. Between the harsh blare of announcements and the quiet hum of people waiting, I decided to cancel the trip and reschedule.
          
          While waiting for my driver, I noticed a couple arguing nearby. Her voice cut through the ambient noise, sharp, raw, urgent. I didn’t pry. I just watched, part curious, part ready. If he crossed a line, I would step in. She accused him of something behind his back. Tension curled between them like smoke. I stayed at the edge of their storm, aware of the fragile balance between words and action.
          
          Then it hit me.
          
          If another person can pull my partner away, they can keep them.
          
          I’ve always believed this. In a relationship, I’m not afraid of competition. I pay attention to character, not surface. I’m not in a relationship with the world. I’m in one with you.
          
          I’m loyal. I choose you every single day.
          
          The real question isn’t how I hold on to you. It’s how you choose me.
          
          I don’t check phones. I don’t watch eyes. I don’t control lives.
          
          I want to trust the person you are when no one is watching.
          
          If someone else can take you that easily, you were never mine. You stayed because it was comfortable, not because you chose fully.
          
          I would rather lose you all at once than bleed myself dry competing for scraps of attention.
          
          I don’t fear other people. I fear only losing myself trying to hold someone who was never fully here.
          
          I trust myself enough to know this. If you leave, you were never meant to stay.
          
          The person who is meant for me doesn’t get taken. They stay.

I’ll be away for a short business trip. Just long enough to miss my own bed… then I’ll be back.

Good morning… I’m still sleepy. Slept really late, woke up super early… I think my brain is on a coffee break without me. Definitely need a strong cup today. ☕
          
          Keep on smiling. It looks good on you.
          But if anyone sees you smiling out of nowhere… they might think you’re a little crazy.
          
          Let’s be a little crazy today. Just you and me, shall we? ;)

It’s past midnight.
          Sleep won’t come, so the mind wanders.
          Then a message breaks the silence.
          Curious.