:/ 




Do you ever feel like you don't have any real friends? I've found myself observing I'm the kind of person my friends are impartial to. You know, the kind of person that you can take or leave. They are fun to hang out with, but never your go to mate. That's me.  I'm an over-thinker - definitely but I'm pretty sure I'd take a bullet for every 'close' friend I have. Not sure they would even consider doing the same. Sometimes I think about what it would be like to just blink out of existence. Just to see if anyone would actually care. Now, I know what you are thinking, somebody shut the suicidal loser up, you were only left on 'read' by everyone in the group chat when inviting them to make plans, there are people starving in the word. Don't worry (not that anyone does) I'm not suicidal, (1) I've got way to many plans for my future to give up. (2) I don't believe in god, so ending it all for black conscious-less nothingness is pointless. (3) I love my parents and don't want to ruin their lives.  Do you ever stand on the edge of a busy road and have the urge to jump in front of a car? Sometimes the urge is so strong I am scared I really will do it.  Loneliness is what eats away at me. It's okay though, if I met me I wouldn't like me either. I'm sad that in our society it's unacceptable and weird to say you are just looking for some friends. 


I have worked really hard on all my work, if you steal/copy it, you really would be sending me over the edge. Disappointment wouldn't begin to cover it.