Who I am? 
I'm the one people say to; "Sorry, I thought you were someone else"
in which I reply "Yes I am"

I'm a very sweet and nice person!
Until you give me a reason not to be

Phew! Thank you, warning label
I was actually considering using my toaster in the shower this morning

I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, "Hello?"
As if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?"

I talk to lifeless stuff
At least they listen

Why yes, I do frequently burst out in song!
I wish life was a musical!

We should stop teaching kids to sing the alphabet.
It took me 5 years to realize that "elemeno" wasn't a letter

Don't think too much or you could create a problem that wasn't even there

Duct tape fixes everyting!

What can i say? I'm just different
I tried being normal once. Worst 5 minutes of my life