Welcome to the one and only, 
"Child ABDUCTION Services!"
Have a child that's annoying? Ungodly?
Well never fear! For Child ABDUCTION Services are here, or better yet 'CABS'!
For your first time with us, we'll ABDUCT a child of YOUR CHOOSING! FOR FREE!
And we'll make it look like suicide or accidental death!
DISCOUNTS NOW! 50% OFF UNTIL 14th of OCTOBER!
But the official pricing for our services for Child ABDUCTION without discounts is $100 as of now!
THE LOWEST PRICE YOU'LL GET BESIDES DISCOUNTS!
For more information, 
PLEASE VISIT THE 
CHILD ABDUCTION PARLOUR
'CABS'
Don't tell the police, or we'll come for YOU next.
/j