Orphan Account

Hello

I just realized I still have the Christmas background on... I guess that shows how long I've been inactive lol
           
               Just to give an explanation, I started my freshman year and after two days I switched to virtual school. The program that I have to work on is awful and even assigns work on the weekends!! ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡
          
               I haven’t had any time to write. Like, none.. 
          I also have lost most of my motivation and am extremely unsatisfied with literally everything about my stories.. 
          
               Oh, and my deteriorating mental state :D I'm really trying to hold everything together, so that I don't... Um..   ✌︎('ω'✌︎ )
          
               Thank you for reading all of this (๑･̑◡･̑๑)
          Have a great day, and thank you for supporting me :, , )
          

I just realized that I start my first year of highschool in a week... I want to die.

Wait omg wait no- it wasn’t the bandaid
          AWTF IS THAT T^T

I got my 1st COVID Vaccine today and I was laying in bed. Everything was fine, but then I lifted my arm up and it sounded like liquid sloshing around. I literally started crying, but then I realized IT WAS MY BANDAID !!!!! I was so scared

:0 I’m halfway through summer vacation and just realized I haven’t posted a chapter since May….. what have I been doing…?

Omg… •////•
          I was drawing (on paper) and erased something I didn’t want to do, I moved my hand up to press the back button… and realized I wasn’t drawing digitally.. I’m so embarrassed even though no one saw me..

I just found out I actually have to go the pulmonologist tomorrow…… I’m scared…. I also just wanted to ask if anyone else’s parents do this. My mom always talks about my anxiety and tells me that I can talk to her and tell her what’s wrong, but whenever I do she always tells me to get over it….. and I’m like….. but you just said…… :|
          
               She told me that she had anxiety when she was younger too, but then she says stuff like that.... and it's like...um...if you also had it then why would you say that... Like ...what..? I'm just confused... I'm going to die... Bye I guess

Sorry I haven't been updating recently, alot of things have been going on in my life. First of all, I've been playing so much Minecraft wtf. Also, my Uncle and his girlfriend got Covid. His girlfriend had been in the hospital for about 12 days, but passed away this morning. ( I know this is kind of a weird thing to tell the whole world, but I need to get it off my chest.) 
          
          Also, just a few hours ago I was about to take a shower and I heard a sneeze/cough?? Idk come from outside, so I put my clothes back on and hid in my room for two more hours. Also, I was home alone when this happened. Now I'm really anxious and I think I've hallucinated a couple times, but I'm not sure. Everytime I think I am, I start to doubt if it actually even happened. 
          
          I just looked back and I've typed also, so many times. Anyways, I'm afraid to sleep. Um. I think that's all..? Oh! Oh! I just remembered one more thing! 
          
          I have asthma, so I go to a pulmonologist every couple of months. The last time I went, the doctor told me I had anxiety. (I already knew that, but whatever.) She asked me if I knew what was causing it and I said no!!! Even though I know it's most likely social anxiety. 
          
          She told me to try yoga and to think about getting a therapist.... And the next time I go she's going to ask me if I want one!!!aaaaahhhh nooooo! I know I need a therapist, but I can't just say yes... That would be weird. Also, there is no way I'm letting my parents pay for therapy. I couldn't trust them either, if I tell them I'm going to Kermit sewerslide, they'll send me to a mental hospital, and I'm scared. 
          
          Okay, I'm actually done. I don't think anyone actually reads these, but- I just realized there's one more thing.... I won't say it, I can't omg... Hdujvstuknvgiknn
          
          Thank you for reading my rant! :) If you want, you can message me or just comment on my post or whatever and rant/ vent, anything really! Bye!

My S.S. teacher told my class yesterday that we had a 3 page essay due today..... I finally finished, but I ended up working until 12 last night.. -_-