Im_a_bloody_whore

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STOP I JUST READ MY EXES FROM THE LAST THINGS OLD MESSAGES AND IM FLAT OUT GIGGLING HE WAS SUCH A PICK ME AND LIKE FUCKING CRINGE WTF WAS I THINKING 
          	
          	I'm so ugly... uwu
          	
          	LMFAOOO IM GIGGLING

Im_a_bloody_whore

Story time!! <33
          
          I dated this one guy and I really liked him, but all the time he would bring up a bf or an ex and stuff casually and talk abt how hard he had it, and when I tried to take to him abt my troubles since I was going through a lot he just said same and then I broke up with him but he still wanted to be friends so I said sure and then he ghosted me several times and made me get nerves because I still kinda liked him and only replied when I was apologizing so much and then when I would try to talk to him after he would say one thing and then ghost me again so I stopped messaging him but still yk checked up on him and I started crying bc I remembered right when I broke up with him he was dating a new person and saying how much he loved him and stuff and yeah.

Im_a_bloody_whore

I told my friend that said she liked me that I almost killed myself kn Halloween. It was very hard for me to tell someone that and she just laughed and said, "I almost killed myself lastnight."
          I told her about my problems, and she said that while she was throwing a fit her mothers hand shifted causing her to have trouble breathing. She then wouldnt stop calling her parents abusive. The parents who buy her linch everyday. The ones that bought her a phone and give her money. They're  "abusive" because their strict. 
          I guess i did prove myself right.. no body cares <3

Im_a_bloody_whore

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I loved him, and then I stopped loving him, then I loved him, and now I haven't loved him for weeks, and it still stings a little when he doesn't message me.
          I think really my "love" for him was just me flirting, him falling, and I allowed him to think that shit was real, but then he started flirting and it hit me, and we started dating. Now, we are still allowed to flirt, but I was flirting with someone and I got the same feeling that started with my boyfriend and me to date, and I don't want to hurt this person.
          I'm tired of this
          Why can't I just stop flirting, because every time it makes me fall for them for a small amount of time? I mean I fell for both of my best friends, I still flirt with one of them because the feeling stopped, but yesterday I kissed her for the third time, and was so happy. I mean, why wouldn't I?
          She was my first kiss, then I kissed her finger better, then I kissed her on the cheek. Fuck feelings man, can't they just leave?
          The idea of that person with me is amazing, but actually being together is gross.

Im_a_bloody_whore

I just love thinking about it
            real relationships aren't my thing, but hook-ups.....
            No, just no
            Why can't I have a relationship without it actually being a relationship, but still a relationship at the same thing?
            But not friends with benefits...... something like with a deeper meaning and nurturing
            WHAT IS THIS? LIKE WHAT DO I WANT? 
            I'm so confused
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