"Wait! I need to send my memes."

"I loved it when you cried."

"Can you hand me my aloe vera? It's in between my almond milk and coffee creamer."
"That's so white." 

"I'll do it tomorrow."

"That sigh was just me cringing internally."

"So she thinks Tae bottoms?"
"Yeah."
"I disagree heavily. "

"You sound like a baby being put in a microwave."

"I'm making it sound like they had sex."

"Insert Kanye song here."
"Hotline Bling."
"Isn't that by Drake?"
"Wait-"

"I'll fry your skin and eat it like chicharrón."

"Imagine you're in Math class and you are graphing a linear equation. Then, Polly Parabola breaks into class. She snatches the paper like BTS snatches our weaves and burns it. Then, you wake up and you're at an amusement park."
"*bursts out laughing*"

"I'm a smartass who makes dumbass mistakes."

"Ah, I like suffering."

"I could physically feel your air quotes."

"'Don't fight! Don't fight!' he shreked."

"I'm an intimidating nerd."

"If the president of the US has to go to the bathroom, do you think his wife says 'Ah, he's taking a Trump Dump'?"

"Do you think that if the secret services are notified of an assassination, do you think they say 'Donald, duck!'?"