peach-y

im having a major dry spell where it comes to writing and college work and wanting to go out and do things. ive spent most of my days curled up on the couch, scrolling through instagram or staring blankly ar the opposite wall, crying and sleeping. I want to do things but I dont know how to start and its driving me insane. im just stuck in limbo here. even though I dont have that many people who read my storys I still feel bad for not doing anything. im gonna try and keep going with things but its so hard. it might take me a little while.

ive gotten really into bnha lately, like its pretty bad and even though ive got SOOO many BTS fics to finish and start, I really wanna write a bnha fic too. ive even got an entire plot and everything planned out and im pretty sure I could get at least three chapters done easily. but I'd feel bad if I started without at least finishing one of my BTS fics. thats why im thinking im gonna finish off either fraVashi or The Less I Know The Better first. but I dont know which one. both are based off prompts and oddly enough are both vmin ones, im just not sure which one to finish first. also I promised a friend of sorts a scary yoonkook fic so need to get on that too. dammit.

i watched Millenium Actress again and i STILL feel like crying every time i think about it. That movie makes me cry so damn hard. like, this girl spent her entire life searching for a man that she'd only met once and it was entirely futile. She became an actress just so she could give him his key and chase after him but there was nothing to chase because he was already dead. And he would never know just how much he'd affected her life and shaped it just from one brief encounter. isn't that just so sad? He never gets to complete his painting, he'd so wanted to finish, she never found him and you never find out what the key he gave her unlocks.  I actually feel on the verge of tears now just thinking about the heartbreaking futility of it all. And the musical score and just how cinematically beautiful it is only added and enhances everything and i just can't deal. Every time i watch that movie it lingers with me for several days. it's like i got hit by a truck and i'm still recovering.  I mean, i would definitely reccomend other people watching it, but just don't watch it if you're feeling emotionally vulnerable because it will seriously mess with you....even if you're not feeling emotionally vulnerable actually.  Just watch with caution because it will leave you breathless and hurt.

just updated BTS' Creepy Corner with the third chapter of the BTS  x SP AU!. so far Tae and Kookie have shunted into a parallel dimension where there is no light pollution and so they witness a rare and beautiful sight, but as far as they can see, it is basically a dead wasteland. Except far off in the distance, as they follow the path of a falling star, they see a tiny glowing spec on the horizon that could mean civilization.  Tune in to BTS' Creepy Corner to find out more! 
          :'))))

so I know a few months back, I said I was gonna be publishing BTS' Sci-Fi Sector with a BTS x Star Trek AU, but im thinking about maybe scrapping that idea cos if I do the Star Trek AU then I'll HAVE to come up with other BTS x Sci-Fi content and I realised that there's not really that much of a demand for stuff like that. I was mainly doing it for myself cos im a huge ass nerd and even though I have a lot of ideas for BTS Sci-Fi AU's, not many people are about that shit. However, BTS' Creepy Corner is still happening. After ive finished with part 1 of the SP AU, I'll be posting horror and fantasy short stories. 
          btw, the BTS x SP AU is going to be a trilogy of sorts, so a three part story. it'll start of with Taekook, then Sope and then Namjin with Jimin tucked in the middle of each story. I hope you look forward to it

the vmin fic, The Less I Know The Better has just been updated. I know hardly anyone has read it and I mean, hardly ANYone has read it...but thats besides the point. The second chapter is up now so anyone who hasn't read it, but wants to or is interested, go have a quick read and leave a comment maybe. Thanks.

Ok so i realised there were some mistakes with the whole SP Lore in my BTSxSP AU fic so i had to edit that. Also, i decided to make clear at the start of the chapter that it is deffo about the SP AU, so none of you might be reading will be like "well, what the fuck is dis about?"  ok so there. 
          bye bye

Part 2
          What follows for the rest of the summer and their final year before graduating is a hedonistic game between Taehyung and Jungkook. Taehyung remains confused as to where his affections lie; either with his best friend with whom his relationship is more than platonic or Jaehwa who’s uncanny familiarity to her doomed brother allows Taehyung to feel easier in her company. Jungkook is in denial about his sexuality and about his obsession with his naive friend even while he is desperately trying to make Taehyung his. Just before graduation Taehyung finally understands his feeling towards Jungkook and realises he has fallen in love with him, but Jungkook’s self-destructive nature makes it difficult for Tae to get past, as his younger friend is still in denial about where his true passions lie. In the end, after graduating, Taehyung gets a job as an architectural painter and travels to Argentina to paint the buildings there, while Jungkook, having failed all his exams and unable to graduate, runs away with what little money he has left to Morocco where he drinks to excess and ruins his health. A few years later, while still in Argentina, Taehyung starts getting letters from Jaehwa but he ignores all of them, refusing to read them as he wants nothing more to do with the Jeon family. However, one day he gets a surprise call from her where she tells him that Jungkook died of alcohol poisoning and a drug overdose and that she thought he ought to know considering they were so close. She then reveals that she knew about their romantic involvement and she tells Taehyung that Jungkook was in love with him even though he would never admit it to Taehyung’s face for fear of rejection. Taehyung, suddenly overwhelmed by fond memories and repressed emotions, hangs up and stares around his studio where every single painting is of different parts of Leechmarsh Castle and in each one is Jungkook smiling happily, holding his teddy bear Evelyn.

Part 1
          The Ill-Starred Passions of a Lordling Leech: Futile Obsessions  
          BTS Nostalgia AU!
          Premise
          Inspired by Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh. 
          Set during the late 20’s, England. 
          Taehyung is an undergraduate studying art in a prestigious university, he is disenchanted with life and finds most things mundane and pointless, leaving him emotionally hollow and characteristically awkward in new company. This changes when he meets Jeon Jungkook, a troubled yet charming young lord studying philosophy who carries around a large teddy bear called Evelyn. He comes from a wealthy aristocratic family and he spends less time studying and more time drinking champagne and running amok with his flamboyant friends. Taehyung falls completely under his spell, trailing after his new friend like a lost puppy and slowly becomes just as ruined as Jungkook who is haunted by his profound unhappiness brought on by a troubled relationship with his parents. During the summer holidays Taehyung prepares for a dull stay at his family home with his widowed father, having spent all his money with Jungkook on fine dining and alcohol. However, he gets an urgent message from Jungkook asking him to come at once due to a fatal injury, which upon arriving, he discovers is one broken toe sustained by a game of croquet. Despite the false alarm, Taehyung ends up spending the remainder of the holidays with him. While staying at Leechmarsh Castle, the palatial mansion that is the Jeon’s family home, Taehyung meets Jungkook’s older sister, Jaehwa, who bears a striking resemblance to her younger brother. It isn’t long before Taehyung begins to fall for her and Jungkook feels the sting of jealousy, believing that his friend is being pulled away from him.

I'm gonna put the summary here. I dunno if any of you will read it, but if you do, let me know what you think.