I can't begin to say how.mad I am rnn
I'm just ranting, so bear with me
I can't wait for college. I swear. I can't take my family a year longer. Whosoever assigned me to this family is going to get it hot with me, wherever he/she is.
I get abused and I'm blamed for being abused. Seriously? This family is the reason I'm depressed, and mentally unstable. My thoughts are in a really dark place and they just have a way of bringing out the demon in me. I've been having suicidal tendencies for over 7 years. Ever since I was 9. I'd even attempted suicide once. And I've tried so much to just bear with everything, but they make loving so hard.
I can't believe I have to bear a year or 2 more. I really don't know how I'd survive. And they keep lying about me and breaking me down, but my pride would never let me defend myself. I'd always say I know the truth and that's all that matters, but they have such impact on me. I was an extrovert now introverted, with low self esteem. I just... I'm just so tired.
When I first got abused, there was absolutely no reaction. Nothing. And I got abused AGAIN recently, by an elderly person and I am a really respectful person. I just froze. I could not say even a word. But when I told them, I get insulted daily for not talking back to him. And today, she just... Ughhh
She said I walk around naked. In a gown that rests just above my knee and a skirt. Mind you, my mom wears gowns way shorter. But o get all the hate. They make me feel so worthless. They emotionally abuse and wreak me. And I can feel my personality twisting. I can literally feel it. I wouldn't say why tho. That'd be too much.
Anyways, I'm done. Thank you.
