Hello friends , if you are looking for a stiff drink *cleans off a counter* you came to the right bar. But maybe that's not you, you are looking for the craziest fucking gun or weapon you could think of, *types in a code on a keypad and the wall behind the bar opens to a vault of weapons from across the universe* take a look through my wares and pick one you like, it's free as long as you return in... as long as you return it. But after all this, it's still not what you're searching far and wide for, maybe you want a friend to just talk to in an emotional setting or a shitpost status, your choice. I'm always behind my bar willing to listen while we drink about problems. Then again, you are one watt pad and maybe you found me in one of the many vodka or Communism related jokes I make, if so fuck you, why are you following a dumbass like me when you could be spending you time on something useful. 
Even after all this and you found me for some other reason, hello, nice to meet you, maybe we have something in common or we argued or maybe we agreed, I may never know. But welcome to my humble abode, sit down and have a drink, if it exists I have it. Let's talk?

For now this is your resident Crusader, slav, bartender, military man, gunsmith, meme lord, and purger of heresy signing off.