Aissa

my life my joy my reason for living my salvation
          
          happy birthday miku 

sigh

i am loved, i am cared about, i will be safe soon, everything is going to be okay. it's one rough week. it's one bad conversation. everything will be okay. someone cares about me. i will be safe soon. i just have to take deep breaths and calm my nerves...and get my blood  pressure regulated...somehow...sigh...<333

i need to get back into meditation <3 i could drop dead from stress at this point

an endless vicious cycle, we're trapped in.

Boku no inochi tsuttatte dare no inochi tsuttatte
          Tokidokidoki kouhei ni sabakareru mon nan desho
          Kurai sora ni yattekita utsu o tsurete yattekita
          Tokidoki ame soukei ni tayorigiri da doushiyou
          
          Kuchiru made no aizou o kuchiru made no aizou o
          Nomikomu kimi kantan ni hohoemu kimi doushite
          Kotoba o kaku aimai ni kotoba o kaku aimai ni
          Tsutawari kirannai kara kimi dake o sa shinjite
          
          
          
          Sutetekita yume o atsumete
          Chotto chotto machigaeta kara
          
          Aa "toki ni toki ni tsumazuita tte,"
          Samui-samui-samui-samui-samui
          Samui-samui-samui-samui-samui
          Samui-samui-samui-samui ii yoranaide
          Aa kimi no kimi no kimi no koe ga
          Tooi-tooi-tooi-tooi-tooi
          Tooi-tooi-tooi-tooi-tooi
          Tooi-tooi-tooi-tooi kizutsukenaide
          Nanbanme demo nanbanme demo
          Boku ga boku de aru tame ni?
          
          Chigiri atsume mottekita chigiri atsume motte kita
          Ano hi no machigai o nomikomu no ga kurushikute
          Kuchiru made no aizou o kuchiru made no aizou o
          Nomikomu kimi kantan ni hohoemu kimi doushite
          
          "Kodomo damashi no hana futatsu,"
          Kitto kitto akirameta kara?
          
          Aa tooi yume o oikakete sa
          Hayai-hayai-hayai-hayai-hayai
          Hayai-hayai-hayai-hayai-hayai
          Hayai-hayai-hayai-hayai oitsukenai yo
          Sutekirezu nokoshita omoi ga
          Nikui-nikui-nikui-nikui-nikui
          Nikui-nikui-nikui-nikui-nikui
          Nikui-nikui-nikui-nikui yurusarenai no?
          Aa yume o yume o miteta hazu ga
          Kowai-kowai-kowai-kowai-kowai
          Kowai-kowai-kowai-kowai-kowai
          Kowai-kowai-kowai-kowai chikazukanaide
          Ai kotoba o kurikaesu dake
          Samui-samui-samui-samui-samui
          Samui-samui-samui-samui-samui
          Samui-samui-samui-samui onegai dakara
          Nanbanme demo nanbanme demo
          Boku ga boku de aru tame ni…

remember to keep your promises, everyone <3

pfffft
          
          you really didn't care about me, huh? you weren't lying, hm...? this isn't affecting you at all. but i can't even be upset, right? it's not like i can force you to feel something for me. 
          
          ...i should've done this sooner, that's what they'll say. you could've made more of an effort, too, but whatever. it's over. i'll be glad sooner or later.

i'm going to do something so unbearably stupid

i made this acc to have an escape where i could be invisible but at this point i realize i didn't need an alt for that, haha