Isolated_Fujoshi

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Got a new job, it's horrible, I never want to go back. Got yelled at twice by customers on my first day. Had to call management like 15 times because I didn't know the answers some of these people were asking me. Did the deposits wrong, got called this morning about it, made me feel like she was accusing me of taking them. I feel really bad about doing it wrong and I'm embarrassed and I never want to go back. My first time ever working by myself, with no co-workers and all this shit happens to me. 
          	I've been hearing a lot about how he doesn't give you more than what you can handle. And I know all this shit is stupid and won't matter, I just wish I had that carefree attitude some other people have. 
          	What happens when I can't handle it anymore. How would I actually do it. I'll go in my sleep

Isolated_Fujoshi

this message may be offensive 
Got a new job, it's horrible, I never want to go back. Got yelled at twice by customers on my first day. Had to call management like 15 times because I didn't know the answers some of these people were asking me. Did the deposits wrong, got called this morning about it, made me feel like she was accusing me of taking them. I feel really bad about doing it wrong and I'm embarrassed and I never want to go back. My first time ever working by myself, with no co-workers and all this shit happens to me. 
          I've been hearing a lot about how he doesn't give you more than what you can handle. And I know all this shit is stupid and won't matter, I just wish I had that carefree attitude some other people have. 
          What happens when I can't handle it anymore. How would I actually do it. I'll go in my sleep

Isolated_Fujoshi

Growing up and becoming roommates with your siblings and paying rent to your parents is absolute crazy work. Problems from start to finish-
          1.Get a concussion before my fourth semester of college starts
          2.Get an ambulance ride to the hospital because of the concussion
          3.Now in $4,000 medical debt
          4.Insurance hasn't kicked in
          5.If I don't pay the bill, it will affect my credit
          6.If my credit gets affected, I won't be able to rent nor buy a home
          7.I need to complete 16 hrs of community service to keep for my scholar ship by April.
          8.Trying to get a new job so i can get into my field of study
          9.getting ghosted by employers
          10. told my dad I'm not going to get my bachelor's but my associates instead because I'm done with schooling
          11. If I don't keep going to college: Ill will have to pay rent in the room I've been sleeping in for the past 15 years, I will have no insurance. So, it's either pay rent or pay for college.
          12. The irrational fear of never seeing my boyfriend and us falling apart 
          13. The want to run away, not know where but away from everything
          14. The world's economic and political problems

Isolated_Fujoshi

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everything is too good to be true, no matter what ever is going great in your life. Something else will ruin it. Im so done with it, im done with school. So much has been happening. Ive been trying to keep it together but i cant do it anymore. I only have one semester left for community college but have a remaining 9 classes i have to take for my associates degree in stupid town. I feel like such a failure, i have spent so much of my time, money, and mental health on it. amd i cant drop out now. I still have communty service to do before december and on top of that im probably failing mutiple classes do to my neglegance. I have been so caarefull this semester to complte everything assingned to me, but im such a fucking idiot i cant fucking do anything right. I cant even fucking spell correctly without fucking auto correct. Shouls such a person continue a college degree. The only good thing is that i got a new job with a higher paying wage. OF A DOLLAR cant even barley pay my bills as is and i cant fucking work all the time do to fucking school. I have no savings I add nothing to it. Youd think having my car break down 3 times would actually give me a string of luck BUT NO spending 3000 dollars on a fucking car that truly cant be any fucking better. i want to graduate i want to really bad  but i cant do it anymore. death would be better

Isolated_Fujoshi

@Disapointment_tm 
            Thank you for reaching out even though you don't know me too well and we probably haven't talked in about 6-8 years. Wattpad really just sees the bunt of my emotions and is more like an anonymous diary. I don't know why I chose to write in the discussions and I don't know if it's a silent cry for help that I've made without my knowledge (not to sound emo and cringe at the ripe age of 19) I find it embarrassing to have these thoughts, and expressing them this way makes me cringe but feel better that I was able to tell someone even though its going into the void of the internet. Thank you for your kind heart for wanting to listen to me and help. I just don't want to be that person on the internet that ruins your way of living because your worried about my life. I am fine at the moment and will be in the future, I have loved ones I have to keep going on for and I know I'll get out of my rough patch like I always do. Again, all you're reading are my bad thoughts and none of my good ones so don't be too worried. :) <3
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Disapointment_tm

@Isolated_Fujoshi are you ok? Genuinely just wondering. I haven’t been on wattpad for 2 years and i wanted to look through my old posts and look at some of my old mutuals accounts and I see this. If you need someone to talk to hmu
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Isolated_Fujoshi

Bruh imma start a BakuDeku fan fic over in AO3, the only thing is...
          
          I'm a fake fan- I ONLY WATCHED THE FIRST SEASON OF MHA- I just. I just wasn't THAT into it but the characters had a choke hold on me . I used to dislike Bakugo but tbh if Imma write a fanfiction I could change his whole personality if I wanted. 
          But want I need to do is watch MHA from start to finish... Just so that I know what I'm talking about before I write the damn fic. 
          More info later of the tags I wanna use

Isolated_Fujoshi

I also need to watch ALL of MHA just so I can get a refresh of characters and not have anyone TOO out of character
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Isolated_Fujoshi

But I want her to transfer so, the kid passes the entrance exam and moves from America to live with her Dad (Bakugo) and go to UA. Um I don't want Bakugo to be a dead beat but I still want him to have sort of relationship with his Daughter. So maybe for a couple summers his daughter visits her dad (Bakugo)
            Now I don't want to copy an idea from an other fic I've read recently but I want there to be a main plot that SOMETHING big is happening. Like a new league of villains or a new drug, SOMTHING.I want to know what I'm  writing about so imma be doing a layout of each chapter before I even write anything
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Isolated_Fujoshi

So I'm thinking like a Teacher Deku x Pro Hero Bakugo.
            I want to keep everything in the MHA universe but I'm still not sure what I want the plot to be. Like they need to fight another villain or somthing. I want PLENTY of fluff. But I'm also thinking about a single father Bakugo? Like maybe after the war Bakugo trains in America after and had a one night stand with some woman. I'm also trying to think of how big this time skip is gonna be? Maybe close to 15 years? Enough for Bakugos kid to be in Dekus class
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Isolated_Fujoshi

Fun fact:
          
          Back in 2015-2017 when I was in 5th or 6th grade; I used to steal my moms phone. I would steal it to watch Oran High School Host Club and I would litteraly hide in the closet because I wasn't aloud to have my own till 8th grade (2018-2020). I just find it funny, it was my gate way to BL and I have no clue who I'd be if I didn't steal my moms phone.

Isolated_Fujoshi

I'm so tired, so so tired.
          I'm about to let the flood gates open. I really can't to this anymore. 
          I can't tell who hates me anymore, I can't do this, I can't stand another person hating or disliking me because of somthing I didn't do. I'm embarrassed and tired and I'm really stupid.

Isolated_Fujoshi

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Do I really amount to anything. Is there really somthing im supposed to do with my life. I have no ambitions, nothing. I'm an empty shell of 'what should I eat tomorrow'. And the 6th grader is so desperately wanted to "get in touch with" your stupid. Fucking. Boyfriend. I TALKED ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU GUYS WERE GOING THROUGH I CARED FOR YOU GUYS TILL THE VERY END, I TALK SO GREATLY ABOUT YOUR NAMES, LIKE I DIDNT DESERVE TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU AT ALL. I just want to know, did you think of me, did you defend my name like I've done so much for you. Did you fight for me, did you try to change their mind. Did you tell them that I would be understanding, and sorry for what I did, somthing I was so unaware about. Did you also feel this way did I also cross your boundary when I didn't even know we had one. You talk to me about this and that and throw me out like it never mattered. Hell when you dated that one dude and chose me over him. But I guess this one is different, you've givin everything to this one person. I wanna cry but I want to listen to your side of the story. People say that I shouldn't talk to you anymore but I can't help but think about the past we were so great. They ruined everything. I went through my toughest times without you and now I feel like we cant even be what we were. I don't think you'll ever text me again or try to reach out to me. I don't think you'll ever care again. Please tell me you cared a little bit