IsoFujo

everything is too good to be true, no matter what ever is going great in your life. Something else will ruin it. Im so done with it, im done with school. So much has been happening. Ive been trying to keep it together but i cant do it anymore. I only have one semester left for community college but have a remaining 9 classes i have to take for my associates degree in stupid town. I feel like such a failure, i have spent so much of my time, money, and mental health on it. amd i cant drop out now. I still have communty service to do before december and on top of that im probably failing mutiple classes do to my neglegance. I have been so caarefull this semester to complte everything assingned to me, but im such a fucking idiot i cant fucking do anything right. I cant even fucking spell correctly without fucking auto correct. Shouls such a person continue a college degree. The only good thing is that i got a new job with a higher paying wage. OF A DOLLAR cant even barley pay my bills as is and i cant fucking work all the time do to fucking school. I have no savings I add nothing to it. Youd think having my car break down 3 times would actually give me a string of luck BUT NO spending 3000 dollars on a fucking car that truly cant be any fucking better. i want to graduate i want to really bad  but i cant do it anymore. death would be better

Bruh imma start a BakuDeku fan fic over in AO3, the only thing is...
          
          I'm a fake fan- I ONLY WATCHED THE FIRST SEASON OF MHA- I just. I just wasn't THAT into it but the characters had a choke hold on me . I used to dislike Bakugo but tbh if Imma write a fanfiction I could change his whole personality if I wanted. 
          But want I need to do is watch MHA from start to finish... Just so that I know what I'm talking about before I write the damn fic. 
          More info later of the tags I wanna use

Is it worth it

Fun fact:
          
          Back in 2015-2017 when I was in 5th or 6th grade; I used to steal my moms phone. I would steal it to watch Oran High School Host Club and I would litteraly hide in the closet because I wasn't aloud to have my own till 8th grade (2018-2020). I just find it funny, it was my gate way to BL and I have no clue who I'd be if I didn't steal my moms phone.

I'm so tired, so so tired.
          I'm about to let the flood gates open. I really can't to this anymore. 
          I can't tell who hates me anymore, I can't do this, I can't stand another person hating or disliking me because of somthing I didn't do. I'm embarrassed and tired and I'm really stupid.

Its time to say goodbye.
          Driving to your mailbox will be the last time I'm ever going to be close to you.

Do I really amount to anything. Is there really somthing im supposed to do with my life. I have no ambitions, nothing. I'm an empty shell of 'what should I eat tomorrow'. And the 6th grader is so desperately wanted to "get in touch with" your stupid. Fucking. Boyfriend. I TALKED ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU GUYS WERE GOING THROUGH I CARED FOR YOU GUYS TILL THE VERY END, I TALK SO GREATLY ABOUT YOUR NAMES, LIKE I DIDNT DESERVE TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU AT ALL. I just want to know, did you think of me, did you defend my name like I've done so much for you. Did you fight for me, did you try to change their mind. Did you tell them that I would be understanding, and sorry for what I did, somthing I was so unaware about. Did you also feel this way did I also cross your boundary when I didn't even know we had one. You talk to me about this and that and throw me out like it never mattered. Hell when you dated that one dude and chose me over him. But I guess this one is different, you've givin everything to this one person. I wanna cry but I want to listen to your side of the story. People say that I shouldn't talk to you anymore but I can't help but think about the past we were so great. They ruined everything. I went through my toughest times without you and now I feel like we cant even be what we were. I don't think you'll ever text me again or try to reach out to me. I don't think you'll ever care again. Please tell me you cared a little bit

Bad people don't think about how to become a better person. 
          But what happens if I want to change but everything I do it just seems like a step backwards. Do I give up?

How do I cheer up my boyfriend. He's acting very distant and sad and is just in general giving me rude responses. Like 'K' and 'idk you'll see me on Friday' like was I supposed to see him earlier on Friday? Is that what I'm forgetting. *just checked my calendar* NO what did I do, all I said that his constant calling from morning to night was too much and it just felt he was watching 24/7 everytime I had free time from work or practice and it seemed like he didn't trust me. But his response was, 'I do trust you, I trust you with my whole life. Just some people act 2 faced'. Tbh I was a little offended when he said that.

The coolest thing I've ever learned that completely fascinates me is that clove powder and water together in a cheese cloth can get rid of tooth pain.