Rainbow🌈

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I guess that's okay. I... Never did. I don't think we have to, actually. I think not knowing is how it's supposed to be. The only thing we're really in control of is ourselves, yet we're still influenced by so many other factors beyond our hold. So.. Why know everything? Why not float and vibe and survive? Why not simply live and let everything else ebb and fall away like a cloud? Why not? I'll finish the book then be off this acc for a little while. But they deserve their closure, D and T, and so do I, I suppose.

Ah. Dang. Not me forgetting about the first book on my profile... I've been busy relaxing though. Short holiday. Eventually I'll have to work and there's barely any hols there, only weekend... Can't predict the future sha. I shouldn't try to. I might figure it out. I have no idea if I will or not. Bukowski managed. Winfrey. All the greats. Everyone who has ever lived and died simply lived and died and the in-between is to be seen. I can do that. I think I can. Why not, right? I'll write books. Watch movies and series. Listen to music. Fill my life with the sound of my own voice and thoughts and decisions and laughter. It won't be all great. Won't be all bad. It will be a life. It has been and will continue on that way. Idk why I'm randomly ranting on my vent profile. I'm feeling a bit off. It'll pass. All things do.

Right. I got no followers rn. At least I won't feel like I'm bothering anybody. My first book is... Not as great as I would've liked it. It's funny cos after years of being a "hopeless romantic" as I said in my bio, I'm just... Sort of over it to some level. So while Devon and Trevor have their cuteness, I gave them their brokenness too. As with the next book I'll maybe put out one day which is shorter and sweeter in some sense. It's almost over. Some part of me wants to delete it all but I won't. Can't. Put too much effort back when I wanted it done. Now that it practically is... Those earlier excitementalities have faded I suppose. They always do. C'est la vibes. I should get some rest. Goodbye, empty account. Thanks for trying. And existing. Proud of ya, self.

Some day I'll post something. A book. And it'll be good. You'll see <3