Hey gurl
I just completed reading your story. Firstly, I would like to bring your attention over the fact that your book is still a baby. The plot hasn't actually started as such. Henceforth, forming an opinion over your book doesn't even make sense.
The best part of your book was sarcasm scattered here and there in a very rightful amount. It bonds the reader to your character.
The vocabulary used was satisfactory :) i.e neither extravagant nor malnutritioned.
Grammatical errors weren't much but yeah, you have to work on your sentence construction. Sometimes your sentences are muddled together.
There were a few times wherein I found myself bored out (I am being brutually honest). It depends on a person's taste but still I think you rlly gotta work over the story. Every person has a way of writing and being honest, I think you can really work upon the way you wrote.
I recommend you to read some good works. They'll help you build up thrillers, cliffhangers, smart endings and all sort of other elements.
Hope that it helps
LONG LIVE
KTS♤