✫☼☾☁ 𝗖Ɍ𝝭/𝝙𝝞𝝚 ☁☾☼✫

Two days ago I scared an entire group of oral surgeons by waking up mid operation as they were taking out my wisdom teeth to agree with something they said about running a business. Then as the doctor said, "see even she agrees" And i just felt and heard them turn up the anesthesia. Right after they got done, I got up and walked out of the building on my own after being handed everything I would need.  I scare myself sometimes, I think my boss is right, I do push through.
          
           And I only say this because right after I was able to talk after getting sick, even though it felt like I ate barbed wire, I still went to work all but one day, and that was because I needed to just chill for a day.

Just almost quit my job today because of a spilt greasy trash can I didn't even spill... Three of us working, all of us tired as fuck, and people start showing up even though they know what time we close. So like the assholes they are, they made us stay open for an extra fee minutes, that's not my issue.  I had had everything clean and ready to go for morning shift, as did everyone else, just sweep and mop the back and have the frier clean some dishes... nope I turn around and there are six cars, all of whom are people who are pretty regular, and know that I try and keep things super clean so I can leave at a reasonable time... I didn't leave work until 21:13, we are supposed to close at 20:30... after I just finished mopping lobby, got all my tasks done and go to help the rest on the back closing list, my manager spills our only trash that needs to be taken out, the one from the kitchen containing: grease, food waste, and paper from the floor; completely filled and he accidentally knocks it over, I hear him say fuck, turn and start panic laughing and almost crying, I look at him and he's as close to tears as I am... so we clean up as well as we can, and get the fuck out of there.  I'm gonna be passed if my boss comments tomorrow about not using enough degreaser,, when we didn't even have enough to even clean it all the way...

I had to explain to my 40 year old mother yesterday what 'slaps' meant... when she heard me mention, "ngl, costco meatballs slap tho" and the only thing I could say was, "the only way to explain this is slap is an adjective, meaning great, amazing, spectacular,  and other positive things"... wtf I had to explain to a 40 year old special Ed English teacher what a Gen z slang was

Just found out that apparently you give away things that you didn't receive as a child... I'm actually having a mental breakdown wtf, is this why I'm known as the mom friend...

You ever been threatened with being disowned and kicked out because (I'm not out to my family), "None of my daughters will ever drop out of school, as long as I can help it."
          But not only that but also my school counselor, "OH you're just burnt out from all of those classes you're taking... and you don't even need that history credit for this semester yea?" I literally have a presentation, essay,  and a plan, as to what I want to do in the future and how school has nothing to do in that plan.

At work last night my coworkers were talking over the headsets while I was taking a call order, and as soon as I got done and saved it I ended the call turned on the employee speak and said, "Y'all are like hookers... no one wants to hear you, see you or smell you."  and my manager, my bosses stepson, tried to garner a response but all he could say was, "I don't even know how to respond to that." and the other two employees in the dish room and I just started bust-out-laughing.

So uh... my abuelita just passed a way this Tuesday; I was really close to her... like so close that we talked about her handing her business over to me when I was older, and teaching me all of her recipes... So since she has passed away I can only assume that any of her clientele are hurt not only financially but also emotionally as well.  But I also haven't been able to grieve or cry yet, due to my schedule being too busy, and I don't want to take time from someone else's day just because I decided to have a mental breakdown... Also my stepmom lost her job due to her health issues, and my great uncle(my abuelita's brother) also got covid because he found my abuelita collapsed on her floor and took her to the hospital, and I'm pretty sure my nana(great grandma) is also going to lose another child... So times are getting really tough right now...  And then I have to tell my boss when the celebration of life for my abuelita is, and it's going to be awful (emotionally for me and financially for my boss) if I have to tell her a few days later that I have to take another day off for ANOTHER celebration of life, so I can only hope that my uncle gets better, because although we aren't close and I have the emotional capacity of a lizard I do love him...

Just found out that not only am I deathly allergic to Bang Energy, I'm also even more allergic to Monster.  So as I'm standing on our Junior Homecoming float with nothing but four balloons and a sopping wet trailer, and like eight 16-17 year olds I'm trying not to suffocate or throw up because I almost didn't get the Dayquil pill I had down my throat.  Then I had to wait thirty minutes until I could hop off the float and walk to the closest gas station to get Benadryl and water.  Afterwards I went to my walked 1/2 way across town to get to my mom's car, then went to get my paycheck, go back to the bank where we parked, then go to the high school where I stayed until 3:45 taking pictures for the teacher who is in charge of yearbook, then I went to work fo 5 and a half hours.  All of this was while I was recovering a severe anaphylactic episode. I hate myself because I thought it would be funny if the cops would have to investigate an accidental suicide on a school float during homecoming, I still kind of find it funny.

I was right... now that I have a job, most of my schedule is just: home to school to work to sleep, or home to work to sleep.  I have almost no personal time now, because of work and my family, and I don't have a working car or a license so it's really anxiety inducing to ask for rides to work from friends or family so I can be at work on time.  And I don't have a phone so I can't call anyone, or read on my breaks... but a plus to this is, I can pretend I don't have enough time to talk to friends or family online now XD

My youngest sister is literally the weirdest even at 10 mo; she calls me bubba like she understands that I dislike being called she/her more than any of the other pronouns... I have to say it is very cute, my mom doesn't even know why I let it happen, and why I don't correct her. XD