Izakai_Lord

New poem. It's about a moth man.
          	I just published "Moth" of my story "Monsters". https://www.wattpad.com/1629617024?utm_source=android&utm_medium=profile&utm_content=share_published&wp_page=create_on_publish&wp_uname=Izakai_Lord

Izakai_Lord

Added a youtube video and graphic to Goblin.

novelistASH

@Izakai_Lord Interesting music choice for the video. I liked the theatricality of it. The sound mixing was fun. If that's your voice being used as the base, don't be afraid to ham up the delivery. Oh, and look out for mic peaks. You can usually soften those when you're mixing the audio, depending on the editing software it can sometimes be dampened with a single checkbox. Good job getting this out! Keep experimenting and have fun.
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Izakai_Lord

@novelistASH Thanks, I will.
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Izakai_Lord

I tried something new. Limited myself to ten words per paragraph. Feedback is needed.
          I just published "Goblin" of my story "Monsters". https://www.wattpad.com/1623381621?utm_source=android&utm_medium=profile&utm_content=share_published&wp_page=create_on_publish&wp_uname=Izakai_Lord

novelistASH

@Izakai_Lord Unfortunately I can't remember any of the flash fiction that I researched. It never really grabbed my attention.
            
            With regards to your work, I would write the poem/narration to fit the time you want the image on screen. Going too long or short can disrupt the flow. It sounds like an ambitious project. Best of luck getting it all together.
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novelistASH

@Izakai_Lord It looks like you're tinkering with flash fiction. I know there's a small but involved community out there somewhere. I'd definitely recommend reading through flash/micro/nano fiction to get a sense of what you think does and doesn't work.
            
            In terms of your poem "Goblin" the use of isolated verbs does a good job of selling action. There's a good attention to word flow that helps sell the energy. The weight of vowel sounds added a lot of importance and I thought the use of shorter sounds kept a steady pace. Beyond that I'd need to know what the larger context would be to advise further.
            
            You had mentioned something about incorporating art and music into your works. In general short sentences tend to increase the speed in a reader's mind, meaning "Goblin" would have very little time on screen. If you were thinking about expanding this style to describe an online raid I think this approach could be a lot of fun.
            
            A good contrasting exercise might be to slow down the pace while keeping to ten words or limiting your syllable count. Write on.
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