In that case, you might find my book interesting, as it deals with exactly those questions and problems. Of course, since I did not want to make it too dry, I had to wrap it into the life story of my teenage self. (Which is the part you might not be so interested in.)
I did find answers for myself in the end (which led to the unusual lifestyle I am leading now), but it took some time. After all, life tends to throw you one morsel at a time. Maybe for better digestive results :)