okkk soo, you all probably know the news, and if you dont, thats okay too. anyway, yesterday, at 4:00, Kim jonghyun of SHINee died. yes, my bias, my favourite member of SHINee died, is gone. but to be honest, I never thoroughly stanned SHINee. but I dont know, something about jonghyun made me really like him the most. how he died? he committed suicide. he killed himself. and its really heartbreaking because in time he was alive, I didn't even make an effort to stan them. now, I already regret it. I regret not being a SHINee fan sooner. sooner before jonghyun's passing. I cant imagine how heartbreaking the look of his band members are when they get the news. how would Minho, taemin, onew, key react and feel to hear their bandmember for 9 fricking years, basically their brother of their whole 9 year long career. how devastated all their shawols are. it's really that hard to believe, and it hurts. it hurts a lot. behind that bright smile, there was pain. and that could be happening to people around you, maybe it's happening to even yourself. you probably heard the line, 'it's okay not to be okay.' I guess I somehow agree to that, because it's normal, and in reality, I experienced that too. recently my best friends literally kicked me out of the group, but it's not the right time to talk about myself. its okay to be sad, but its not ok to not tell anyone about it. people who you trust will support you and understand you. I guess I can say this from experience. I was at a point where I was really down and I spoke to my best friend and she helped me, a lot. she cheered me up and supported me. I know the process might take a long time, and you might feel like you lost hope and you just want to stop breathing and end it all, but you must keep fighting, no matter what. keep fighting for your family, your friends, your siblings, everyone around you, including me. people care about you more than you could possible imagine.
after all this, all I can say is rest in peace.
