JESSALKIVAN37
THERE ARE THINGS THAT KILL YOU from the inside out,that you don't realise until you see thier impact.the wave doesn't know its hight until it see how much it fall and how mush of foam it leaves behind . that wave is us. We don’t realize what can hurt us until long after, after a stretch of time. Moments of awareness pass carelessly once it’s too late, but even though it ends, it stings like a sword dipped in raw perfume. The person who dipped it thought it was normal. They placed it without caring about the harm it could cause you, just based on a sick thought in their mind saying maybe this is good, without even bothering to ask my opinion. For me, this killer and suffocating thing was the literal criticism of all my actions. You criticize what’s good and what’s not. Your apologies go in one ear and out into the landfill of forgetfulness. Thanks for your efforts aren’t even in their dictionary, and if you object, they tell you to improve, and if you improve, they criticize you in disbelief… then you lose your temper and they scold you for being rude…
JESSALKIVAN37
«هُنَاكَ أَشْيَاءُ تَقْتُلُكَ مِنَ الدَّاخِلِ إِلَى الخَارِجِ، لَا تُدْرِكُهَا إِلَّا بَعْدَ أَنْ تَرَى أَثَرَهَا. فَالْمَوْجَةُ لَا تَعْرِفُ مَدَى ارْتِفَاعِهَا إِلَّا حِينَمَا تَرَى كَمْ هَوَتْ، وَكَمْ تَرَكَتْ خَلْفَهَا مِنَ الزَّبَدِ. تِلْكَ المَوْجَةُ هِيَ نَحْنُ. نَحْنُ لَا نُدْرِكُ مَا يُمْكِنُ أَنْ يُؤْذِيَنَا إِلَّا بَعْدَ فَتْرَةٍ طَوِيلَةٍ مِنَ الزَّمَنِ. تَمُرُّ لَحَظَاتُ الوَعْيِ لَاهِيَةً بَعْدَ أَنْ يَكُونَ الأَوَانُ قَدْ فَاتَ، وَلَكِنْ رَغْمَ أَنَّ الأَمْرَ يَنْتَهِي، إِلَّا أَنَّهُ يَلْسَعُ كَسَيْفٍ غُمِسَ فِي عِطْرٍ خَامٍ. الشَّخْصُ الَّذِي غَمَسَهُ ظَنَّ أَنَّ ذَلِكَ أَمْرٌ طَبِيعِيٌّ؛ لَقَدْ صَوَّبَهُ نَحْوَكَ دُونَ أَنْ يَهْتَمَّ بِالأَذَى الَّذِي قَدْ يُسَبِّبُهُ لَكَ، فَقَطْ بِنَاءً عَلَى فِكْرَةٍ مَرِيضَةٍ فِي عَقْلِهِ تَقُولُ "لَعَلَّ هَذَا خَيْرٌ"، دُونَ أَنْ يُكَلِّفَ نَفْسَهُ عَنَاءَ سُؤَالِي عَنْ رَأْيِي. بِالنِّسْبَةِ لِي، كَانَ هَذَا الشَّيْءُ القَاتِلُ وَالْمُخْنِقُ هُوَ النَّقْدُ الحَرْفِيُّ لِكُلِّ أَفْعَالِي. أَنْتَ تَنْتَقِدُ مَا هُوَ جَيِّدٌ وَمَا لَيْسَ كَذَلِكَ. أَعْذَارُكَ تَدْخُلُ مِنْ أُذُنٍ لِتَخْرُجَ إِلَى مَكَبِّ النِّسْيَانِ. كَلِمَاتُ الشُّكْرِ عَلَى جُهُودِكَ لَيْسَتْ حَتَّى فِي قَامُوسِهِمْ، وَإِذَا اعْتَرَضْتَ، قَالُوا لَكَ أَنْ تَتَحَسَّنَ، وَإِذَا تَحَسَّنْتَ، انْتَقَدُوكَ بِاسْتِنْكَارٍ...... ثُمَّ تَفْقِدُ أَعْصَابَكَ، فَيُوَبِّخُونَكَ عَلَى وَقَاحَتِكَ
