DUDE LOVE UR STORIES
A few tips from a fellow writer (that barely has anything done lol)
Try to mix it up- using "she said grabbing the drink" isn't just as much energy as "she chuckled, grabbing the glass just before it spilled over with the fizzing soda"
Another thing, using the above example, is to bring more descriptive details into to your sentence to kinda fill in the picture you're creating for the readers.
That's all!!! The rest of your works are really good, with a well thought out plot and no holes or anything in them. Solid characters as well, and pretty good setting. Maybe try to write a bit more in a chapter, but other than that, you have some really good writing my internet friend. Hope it helped! well, at least somewhat helped. also hope I didn't seem mean or rude. Just wanted to point some stuff out lol.
