By decree of His Royal Majesty, the Dachshund Declaratory Act has been passed and shall be carried out to the fullest in His royal province of Wattpad according to the Act as follows.
1. Advertising shall not cease
2. All profiles are hereby annexed by and under the fullest and supreme authority of His Majesty`s Imperial Dachshund Empire.
3. All citizens of His Royal Crown will read the first two chapters of the sacred texts known as "Roots Regrown"
4. It is hereby commonly knowledged that His Royal Majesty is amazing
5. All citizens who defy this Act and its laws will be justly sentenced to a legal, public, virtual, text-based hanging and additional advertisement spam to add insult to injury.