@Jaffathewriter very understandable. the older i get (considering i was like 16 when infatuated started), the more i realize this fandom is just... creepy? i've gotten really weird and threatening unsolicited dms on here as a result of being in this fandom.
though i also get just not enjoying the ship. i still enjoy it, but find it hard to separate it from the fandom. but it's a crackship, and everyone's allowed to dislike a ship regardless of reasoning.
also, yeah, it's really sad a lot of us did a thing we see in a lot of gay work on here, which is sh1tting on the ex-female love interest for no reason. trust me, you aren't the only one.
i wish you nothing but the best on ur new writing journey! i may not be into the things you're into now, but it's really nice to see writers from the fandom grow and branch out.