JamesJarzabek

So I just posted a rwby fan fic I made over the summer, and I’m warning y’all: I took full advantage of the name fan fic, so it’s pretty wacky. Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy it!

Phantomiron

Hello, this is Phantom from a while ago. You asked me to read some of your stories and possibly give some criticism. Well, I just read your story Ajax. It was a good read and holds promise. It had a nice blend of action and dialogue, which somehow most authors forget to balance the two. Though there is room for improvement.
          
          Here’s some suggestions: 
          • Start a new line when the dialogue comes in, when chars haters speak, because it can get confusing at times when it’s mixed in with the actual rest. 
          • Add a bit more detail, it’s an amazing paragraph filler for stories like fan fics. Also, don’t get tired towards the end of your chapter, most authors forget to add detail at the bottom of the chapters because they’ve been writing for a while and they just want to get done. I’m a bit guilty for that one.
           • Make a new, empty, line when switching or announcing locations like : *enter key* Halfblood Camp *enter key*. Keep it Bold though. 
          
          That’s all I’ve got for now, but if you’d like me to read more of your work than just recommend it.

JamesJarzabek

I feel bad for waiting 3 months to respond, but thanks! The criticism is important and useful to me. I will be sure to make good use of it. I really appreciate it. Once again, thanks!
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Phantomiron

Characters* not char haters.
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