Jazzy

hello!! thank you for adding nepenthe to your list! i hope you enjoy reading it :)) <33

You can say ‘Ring around tht Rosie’ or the Lizzie board jump rope song is the scariest children song, but my childhood lullaby will always take first place. 
          
          It goes like this:
          (Translated into English)
          Sleep aye~
          Sleep oh~
          Sleep from the American (man).
          Careful if they come and beat us both,
          K-ll us both,
          (More traumatizing lyrics that made me fall asleep like she told me a story about butterflies and unicorns.)

Is trauma inherited?
          
          I think it can be passed down, but not inherited. Some parents pass down their trauma to their kids not knowing how bad it can mess them up.
          
          The most popular lullaby in my culture is literally from back in when: 
          —World War Two happened, 
          —They dropped nuclear bombs in our ocean and it had a horrible reaction to plants, wild life, and people, 
          —and when the Japanese tried to take over and use us as slaves in their factory’s.
          
          And it literally warns kids to hide away from the American men or they would k-ll them.
          
          Wtf???

Halloween just ended and mama is already telling us to put the Christmas tree up 
          
          She is where I get my Christmas spirit from.

“You’re older than them, you’re supposed to be the more mature one. You have to set an example.”
          
          I’m adopted. I don’t gotta do nothin.

I miss when I was younger. I miss when boys were gross, disgusting and had cooties. 
          
          I miss when I was smaller. I miss when I wasn’t expected to talk to people and my shyness wasn’t stupid and dramatic. 
          
          I miss when I was purer. I miss back when I didn’t know I had something so precious, and that I had to protect it.
          
          I miss when I was childish. I miss when I wasn’t expected to be the more mature one.
          
          I miss when I was innocent. I miss being able to look in the mirror and not see all the flaws and imperfections.
          
          I miss when I was younger. I miss when I was smaller. I miss when I was purer. I miss when I was childish. I miss when I was innocent. 
          I miss the better version of me.

Yeah, IronMan is incredibly chaotic but what’s more chaotic is what goes on behind the scenes.
          I volunteered with my mother, sister, and cousin and was basically sprinting everywhere.
          But it was lowkey amazing and I’m really looking forward to doing it again next year! 
          Honestly cannot wait for the after party tho!

Still lowkey disliking Blair for what she did to my bby Adena, but I hate her a little bit less (just a little bit). 
          
          Yes this is coming for someone who forgave what Kai immediately
           (I’m biased. Deal with it.)
          
          But lowkey, her ending with Lenny is kinda sweet.

Just finished Fearful.
          
           Cried thrice, 
          screamed out loud once, 
          banged my head on my wall twice, 
          said “Wait what?!” Out loud four times, said “what the fuck” three times,
           and definitely did not smile at something Blair said two times. 
          
          Definitely…

Imagine crying for the cover of the book alone I could never…
          
          *says with red and puffy eyes*