JasiaJustWantsToRead

I think I finally get the hype about love. 
          
          I broke up with my boyfriend on the fifth of July and when I really wasn’t looking for no one a absolute idiot walks into my life and gets me kicking and smiling at my phone like an dumbass when im supposed to be a baddie gangster. 
          
          He treats me like the universe was built for me, while my ex didn’t even treat me at all.
          
          He texts me everyday, tells me how he hopes he’s the first message on my screen in the morning and the last at night. 
          
          We get into petty little fights about who would be the dom between us and he just gives in and says “honestly, it’s fine as long as you’re mine” and I genuinely can’t find a response to that.
          
          We’ve just started talking but everyday I feel like im sinking more and more into his love when i swore I would protect myself and not give in. 
          
          Worst of all? He knows it. He knows how im trying to close off and he’s being so patient and understanding it genuinely hurts my soul. 
          
          Im scared of trusting him but everything about him makes me feel like I actually deserve what he’s giving me.
          
          Sighhhhh
          Why’s my love life such a bitch?

I JUST SAW THE NEW SPIDER MAN MOVIE TRAILER ON MY FYP TODAY ABD IM OBSESSEDDD!!! SOMEONE SEND ME MONEY SO I CAN BUY TICKETS CAUSE IM BROKE ASF!

GUYS ITS FINALLY SUMMER IM GENUINELY SO EXCITED!!!
          
          BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!

LMAO IM LAUGHING SO HARD RN. 
          
          LIKE TWO HOURS AGO THERE WAS THIS BAD EARTHQUAKE ND RIGHT AFTER SCREAMING AND YELLING “Oh my gosh! I’m too pretty for ts!” I STARTED LAUGHING MY ASS OFF. 
          
          ND THE SECOND ONE WAS JUST RN AND I IMMEDIATELY STARTED CACKLING ND ACCIDENTALLY WOKE MY SISTER LMAOOO.
          THERES SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME LOL
          
          (I also lowkey gotta barf but we don’t talk abt that)

Things my boyfriend did yesterday that had me internally squealing!
           (Istg I am so obsessed with him)
          
          NUMBER ONE!!!
          He called my sister HIS sister!!! 
          
          He literally went up to my younger sisters bf and was like “you’re dating my sister? Cool, guess that makes us brothers!” And they both started jumping around like idiots. 
          (Stupid but I still love him)
          
          NUMBER TWO!! 
          When his friend asked if he wanted a hit (of his flavored air) he said “nah, I quit doing that stuff.” Whilst ‘subtly’ (it was kinda obvious) glancing at me. 
          My uncle passed away from lung cancer when I was younger so I swore I would never do that. I didn’t even ask him to quit but he did just because I didn’t like it!!!
          
          NUMBER THREE!!! 
          When his friends asked if weve ever done anything yet, he said that we were taking it slow and he was chill with it. 
          
          (I’ve never told him this but sometimes i feel stressed when our friends try to make us kiss just so they can see. I like keeping things private and taking stuff slow and i think he’s noticed how I act when they bring it up.)
          
          Anyways that’s it’s!!! God, I love talking about him.

What's the dumbest thing you've done today? I'll go first!
          
          —Tw: BLOOD AND DUMB AHH SHIT—
          
          Today my mother was beating my ass for something so insignificant I already forgot () so after I decided out of pure pettiness to cut my wrist and make her think she did it. 
          (She gave me a gash on my head once and lowkey kinda felt bad)
          But because if my frustration I cut too deep. Past skin and a little bit of flesh.
          
          — That's when I found out I hate the sight of a deep(ish) wound on me and blood pouring out!—
          
          And so, I began to have a panic attack but just got tried my best to slow down the bleeding whilst crying hysterically.
          After I got the blood to stop (thank you hospital drama shows) I went to my trusted adult. 
          Momma. 
          I said I cut my wrist on glass, started crying again when I looked at it for too long, she rolled her eyes and told me to look away, I rolled my eyes back just because.
          And now I'm stuck with a cut on my wrist covered with a stupid bandaid until I can get those tape things people use as stitches. 
          
          Oh, and I can't look at it or else I might puke or faint. 
          Also today was everything shower day so....

Three heartbreaks,
          Two months, 
          And one new bf later and I'm backk
          
          
          I'm healing and I've accepted it. There's nothing I could have done or can do now. All I can do is cherish the memories we made together. 
          
          One another note, GUESS WHO HAS A BOYFRIEND NOW?! MEEEE!!!
          He's sweet and kind, and thoughtful
           (even tho sometimes I wanna punch him in the throat but I'll deal with it)
          
          Oh and if you're getting a crap ton of notifications about me adding a story to a list it's because I'm cleaning/organizing my library. 
          I don't even think I'm halfway through ...
          
          Pray for me.

You’re joking. You’re actually joking. You have to be genuinely joking. WHAT. THE. FU—
          
          It was the three year old. THE THREE YEAR OLD. I can’t. I really can’t. 
          
          I kid you not when I tell you that that little girl was the sweetest, smartest, sassiest baby I know. 
          
          And now she’s gone.
          
          Fuck ts. I genuinely can’t. She got into an accident but I wasn’t told what kind. 
          
           I genuinely want to scream so bad I can’t even lie.

I genuinely can’t make this up I’m sobbing. 
          
          I was literally just told that one of my cousins babies died. My dad left earlier with my sister and her friend who’s staying over and just came back to tell me. He said they, and I quote, “died in a horrible way” and won’t tell me who. 
          I cannot do this rn because I genuinely love those kids with my heart and I have no idea who it was. The oldest is seven and the youngest is a literal newborn. Barely even an infant. My sister is with my cousin right now consoling her and I’m supposed to watch my other siblings without telling them anything. My baby sister is sick and I’m just supposed to hold the house together acting like it’s fine? 
          
          My other siblings are sleeping, mind you it’s two am rn, and I’m just trying to hold myself together.
          
          I can’t. I genuinely can’t.

UHMM, HAS ANYONE ELSE SEEN APOLLOS ACTOR?!! DAMNNNN.
          
          Also Pjo digital footprint really do be growing 
          
          And Thalia was SOO right when she called him hot. Like DAMN. Who to simp for??? Him or Charlie???