WinterHues

Hey Sparkline_  thank you souch for the follow. I hope that you will enjoy my works!! :)

JassR_

@WinterHues :)
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WinterHues

I will! (:
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JassR_

@WinterHues it's all my pleasure and i hope same from you
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wildflowerszz

Hello again! Here is my feedback on your book:
          
          I read it, and I love the plot. It's really captivating and intense.
          
          However... I did notice a couple things which could improve (because there's always room for improvement aha)
          
          1) During dialogue, instead of saying the person's name with a dash and then the dialogue, try this:
          
          Example:
          
          Wrong: Emily- I'm very happy! *bouncing up and down*
          Right: "I'm very happy!" Emily exclaimed, bouncing up and down.
          
          Remember to use quotation marks whenever someone is talking!
          
          Also... try to slow down a bit in the book... take a little more time to develop the story. Put in small details, like what they feel, what they see, what the environment is like. Don't try to rush it. 
          
          For time jumps and location changes, instead of putting "in the car" or *by their house*, try something like:
          
          Jake stood outside his house, wondering what had become of him. (Just an example)
          
          Okay! There you have it! I hope this helps you improve, and please know your story is already amazing as it is!
          
          Thanks:)

JassR_

@wildfl0wr awwwe thank you so much and i really need feedbacks cause it is my first book and i don't know how to write. I'll try to make improvements and you will surely see them in future.
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