hi jamar countee Your foundation is solid. My role is to help you maximize tension, realism, and reader investment. Your concept is strong and the direction works. What the story needs now is more friction to keep readers invested long-term.
Right now, things come a bit too easily for the main character. Slowing the escalation, adding psychological cost to each kill, and introducing real obstacles (mistakes, risk, consequences) will make the tension feel earned and the character’s transformation more believable.
I’ve rewritten one key scene as a model to show how tightening pacing and inner conflict can significantly raise engagement without changing your story. If you’re open, I’d be happy to help you strengthen more scenes and the overall arc.
