Jam

Hi I'm 19 now

With all that being said though, we're here now in 2026. And its time to move on from the past. Whatever has been said or whatever is being said now doesn't matter anymore. If people from my past still hate me and still want to talk negatively about me, then they're welcome to do it. Does it hurt? Oh yeah absolutely, but I can't be too upset because yeah, I probably deserve it for who I was back then. But I'm moving on now. I have a life to focus on. For once just by myself. I might make a new story, like an actual story on here very soon, so maybe stick around for that.

As I near my 19 birthday I look back on this past year of mine as a lesson. The lesson for me is, making friends is hard, keeping friends is harder, but making life long enemies is easy. Maybe that's not the best lesson ever, but its something that I've learned and now have had drilled in me. Its worse cause, you take so long to change that when change finally comes, no one is around to see it, and yet you cant blame anyone whos left cause dammit I would've left myself too. Well, I guess the only route now is therapy.

I'm sorry. I can't live like this anymore. 

I need help badly...I wish I could talk to someone.

Please join my server https://discord.gg/dRXpyjqH

No matter what I do, the guilt never goes away. I feel nothing but guilt and grief for my past. I cant ever change who I was and what I've done and it's eating me alive. Not to mention all I've lost in the previous year...I cant do anything but live with the consequences, I genuinely don't feel like living anymore. Im sorry for the sad message but...I cant keep quiet anymore.

Listen everyone. I hear by invite you all to my server! Keep in mind its kinda old and there might be some old messages to say the least, but were trying to revive the place and would really enjoy any new members. You're all welcome to my server if you wish to join. https://discord.gg/SapfZEcc

Its 2026, and its time for change ain't it? 2025 might've just been the worst year of my life, but it taught me alot about who I am/was as a person
          ..most importantly, who I dont want to be anymore...its time to look back...and make up for my past decisions...im not sure how...but I'll figure it out.

Happy New Years guys!