I have always been "smart" or "the perfect student". This is the end of my first year in highschool. I failed two classes. I'm in summer school. The entire year I've been told, "Just work harder." And "You have so much free time at home though!" I do not. Sure. I don't do chores. I don't socialize. I also am not allowed to hang out with friends. When I do chores I'm told I didn't do it right. This school year has broken my spirit. Who was once this bubbly and bright boy. Is now the scared trans boy who doesn't speak and never looks up. My teachers constantly tell me that they're there to help, but also that this is highschool and we are responsible for ourselves and our grades. The teachers are scary. I don't sleep. I don't even eat because I wake up too late and have too much work during lunch and at home. I get told I'm not good enough when I have a 78% but that I'm a nerd when I have 95%. The school system teaches to stay low. To work. To be a part of society. They all say that college is the only way to go. But my family cannot even afford food. How will we afford college without a full scholarship that I apparently won't get because I haven't tried hard enough.
